Alicia and Peter Episode tags collection
by Ladybug-josie
Summary: Episode tag collection for Alicia and Peter. New ones added one: set post the finale 4x22: It is my finale oneshot. Another is an AU end to 3x20 old one finally finished and posted... both are non m-rated!
1. 311: Payback is a Bitch

Okay this will be a one shot collection of episode tags like I did with Alicia/Will (while I still wrote for those two) this will just be Alicia/Peter. I guess you can call them all AU, but they won't all necessary change other things later on in the show that much if at all. This first one actually would not change that much to be honest. There will be some that goes for a different outcome, and some that don't.

My Kalinda wanted one for 3.11 (one of her favorite episodes) and I serve to please so what she wishes she gets.

A huge thank you to Sabrina who once again beta-read it for me.

_I don't own the Good Wife._

**Payback is a bitch!**

Her first thought, as she started to wake up, was that she was not alone in bed. The next was how could she be so stupid: ending things with Will one moment and, from the looks of it, falling back into bed with him the next. This was not good at all.

She was lying on her side, and the arm wrapped around her was what had made her conscious about the fact that she had a bed partner. She kept her eyes completely closed for a few minutes in fear of opening them and getting confirmation regarding her own stupidity. However as the sleep cleared more and more from her brain she could not remember seeing Will last night or yesterday at all. Plus the arm around her did not feel like Will either, and the grip was different. It was not Will's grip that sometimes had left her more than a little worried that he had placed more into their relationship than she. The fanatically tight grip like he feared she would leave without telling him (something she had done the first couple of times, so maybe he did have a ground for worrying). This grip was tight but not fanatically trying to hold on to her in fear of her disappearance. This was more habit like. Just like the legs position was different, Will's had been pressed against the back of hers. No, these legs were completely in-twisted with her own. She carefully opened first one eye and then another, confirming what she had almost already concluded, she was neither in Will's bedroom or her own. She was actually pretty sure she had never been in this bedroom before, and from everything else plus the view she could see out of the window, she had no doubt who it did belong to. _Peter_.

No she might not have been stupid enough to fall back into bed with Will, she had just been stupid enough to fall back into bed with Peter. She was not completely sure which one was the worst of the two, and it did not really matter. She just knew that it left her in one messy situation, just like the Will thing would have. From the sound of his breathing she was pretty sure he was still sleeping -_fortunately_. She knew she would have to get out before he woke up; that would spare her the talk about what this meant - _other than her weakness for alcohol and sex. _

She knew that this encounter did not change things between them, they were separated. Peter had cheated on her with Kalinda, and not just Amber Madison. Yes, they were in a friendlier place at the moment, or at least they had been, but she was not prepared for anything else. Yes she had flirted with him this last week, and honestly she had enjoyed it a little, seeing that the spark they used to have had never gone completely away, but that was all she could handle at the moment.

Alicia carefully lifted up his arm, and slipped a pillow under it, so he would not notice the missing form. She then slipped out of bed and started to look for her clothes that were spread all over, actually the only thing of her clothes she could find in his bedroom was her bra and panties – _ripped? _She found her chemise just outside the bedroom door, and her skirt along the hallway. She was pretty sure her jacket and purse would be downstairs. As she had a faint memory of it being pushed off right after she had put it back on. She pulled on her chemise and the skirt, and tried to zip it up, only to discover that the zipper was broken. _How desperate had they acted?_

She saw a lamp fallen down from the table it was on, and had a sudden flash of Peter pushing her against the wall, then placing her on the ground while ripping the skirt off her, only to lift her up once again. She shook her head trying to get rid of the image and walked down the hallway very careful not to step on something that would make any sounds and risk waking Peter up. She got downstairs and found her jacket and purse where she thought they'd be. She also found her shoes, which she quickly put on. She checked she had her keys before opening the door, walking out and closing it behind her. She took a deep breath, she managed her escape.

She rested herself against a wall for a short moment, trying to pull her thoughts together as well as figuring out if she was clear headed and sober enough to drive (she really hoped she was), or if she would need to call a cab. No, she was sober enough to drive, so she walked down to her car and drove home.

On her way up in the elevator at home she checked her appearances in case Owen (damn her little brother and his eye for catching things like this) was up. Her brother she called last night and asked to look after the kids as she had to work late. She had worked late, but later on she went to thank Peter for handling the private school principal, _she remembered that now._ She was quiet as she unlocked the front door and slipped inside. She quickly hurried to her bedroom door. She was almost there when she heard someone clearing his throat behind her. She turned around and saw Owen standing a little behind her.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "You really did miss it, from the looks of things." She let out an annoyed growl as she mumbled for him to shut up. "Was it still good? The raw animalistic sex?" He asked her. Okay, he thought she was with Will, which was probably for the better anyway. Owen was after all not that fond of Peter.

"Fantastic!" she mumbled as she rolled her eyes at him and said she was going to bed to get a few more hours of sleep. "Alicia are you back together with him?" Owen asked her before she managed to slip inside her bedroom. "No, no I am not, as you said I just missed it." And she was not lying even though Owen was talking about Will. Owen looked at her for a moment and nodded, realizing he should drop the interrogation. She slipped inside the room, undressed again and slipped under the covers. As she rolled onto her side, pulling a pillow against herself, she realized the irony of the fact that she was sleeping in the side of the bed Peter used to sleep in. She wasn't lying about missing it, their past, their relationship and partnership. She missed it a lot, everyday if she was honest with herself, but she did not trust him anymore. She knew she still loved him, and probably always would but she was not in love with him. However the moment she finally let herself remember what happened the night before, she felt heat pool between her legs once more.

* * *

**9.20PM the night before**

Alicia looked at her watch as she stretched her back trying to loosen some of the frozen muscles she had from sitting at her desk for hours working on a case file. She was starting to feel tired but she really should be finishing this tonight. She decided to work on it a half hour more and if she was still not done she would be going home. 20 minutes later she closed the file, finished enough to count it done. She was about to shut her Mac down but saw that she finally had a network connection - it had been down most of the day - much to her annoyance.

She decided that she'd better check her email. She opened it up and saw that she had an email from Capstone private school. It informed her that they were pleased to welcome Zach and Grace, which grades they were placed into and the date and time they should begin at. She found herself smiling. It seemed that whatever Peter did to handle it, it worked out. She checked the clock once more. It was too late to call and thank him, but maybe she could stop by on her way home, just to tell him they got in and thank him for his help. She did want to tell him the news, and it would take maximum 10 more minutes. She packed her things up, went to her car and drove over to Peter's place.

She felt a little nervous as she knocked at his door, after all she had only been there a few times before.

Peter opened the door just as she was about to knock again. From the look on his face she could read how surprised he was by her visit.

"Alicia?" He asked completely confused "Is something wrong? Are the kids okay?"

She nodded. "They are fine. I just... I got an email from Capstone. Thank you for... handling it," she told him, giving him a half smile.

"Oh, well you are welcome... do you want to come in for a moment?" He asked her, there was no doubt he found what was going on at the moment just as awkward as she did, and was not completely sure how to deal with it. Sure they had seen each other when he picked up the kids. And now in connection to the school issue. And when Grace went missing they had been together for a little while. But she spend most of the time in her bedroom and Peter in the living room.

"Umm I really should get home, Owen is watching the kids." She was not sure entering his apartment was such a good idea.

"Ten minutes Alicia, after all you didn't tell me if the email said something else," he joked with her, as he stepped aside to let her in.

She shook her head a little but did follow him in. He lead her into the kitchen area.

"Do you want some wine?" He asked her, as he held up an already open bottle of Amarone.

Alicia almost rolled her eyes at it. It was so much like him. But she nodded, she could use a glass and if it was only one she would still be able to drive home. She took off her jacket and placed it with her purse on the kitchen counter. Peter filled a glass for her and handed it over, as he took a seat beside her on one of the bar stools where she sat down. She carefully took a sip of the wine. It was good, _great actually._

"So did the email say anything else?" Peter asked her. She nodded and told him about the dates and time and the forms they would need to fill out. This question helped them break the ice and they were soon talking about the kids, like Grace and the Patrick issue. She told him about her meeting with him – carefully avoiding the Kalinda part. They also talked about the rules Alicia needed to set regarding Jackie and the apartment. Peter was annoyed by what Jackie had tried to do. He told her firmly that he was not interested in sole custody.

Alicia stopped thinking about the time, and when Peter asked if she wanted another glass she gladly accepted. She had to admit she had missed adult grown up conversations with someone besides Owen or co-workers. After all that was the real reason why she had tried calling her previous tennis partner and tried to form a friendship there. The drink with Diane the day before had been nice but it had been mostly work talk. Her and Peter's talk turned into other subjects. They joked a little about her meeting in court with Glenn Childs not so long ago. He told her about Eli trying to get him to run for governor.

She found herself laughing and enjoying his company, more than she could remember having done over the last year. It was nice and comfortable. And it made her realize the reason why she started to miss grown up company so much lately, was because all of those years they had been married it was not uncommon for them to spend a couple of hours after the kids had gone to bed just talking, about their day, books, politics or other things.

Alicia got so into it that when she reached for the bottle she discovered it was empty. Upon noticing that, she checked her watch only to see it was half past 12.

"Shit!" She mumbled.

"What's wrong?" Peter asked her a little confused.

"I didn't notice how late it's gotten. I really need to get home, Peter."

Peter checked his own watch. She saw his eyes widen slightly as he realized how late her 10 minutes and one glass of wine had turned into.

"Oh yeah. Want me to call you a cab?" He asked her. But Alicia had already pulled out her phone and was calling one.

"It will be here in five minutes, so I better go down and wait for it," she told him, after hanging up. She got down from the chair and Peter stood up as well, taking her jacket and holding it out for her so she could easily slip into it.

As they walked over to the door, she turned to Peter. "Thanks for the wine," she told him smiling a bit, hoping he understood it was as much about their conversation than as about the wine.

"You are welcome." Their eyes locked for a moment, both of them smiling.

She was not completely sure who moved first. It could have been Peter or it could have been her, but the next moment her purse was on the floor and Peter's arms were wrapped around her tightly, while his lips caressed hers.

His tongue was trying to rediscover every corner of her mouth, making her moan in pleasure. She wrapped her own arms around his shoulders and her fingers intertwined in his hair. Her jacket was disposed once again and so were her heels.

Hands were stroking, caressing and pulling off clothes. Her skirt hitched almost all the way up around her waist, as Peter lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around him for support as he carried her up the stairs and down the hallway.

Alicia fought with the buttons on his shirt, eventually giving up on opening them the natural way and instead pulling at the material and ripping it apart.

Peter growled into her neck as he slammed her against a wall. He set her down on the ground so he could get the shirt off, as well as the undershirt he had on, stopping for a moment his work on her neck, _which she was pretty sure by now would look like she had dinner with a vampire, or rather been the dinner for one._

She felt his hands working on her skirt trying to get the zipper open and her out of it, while she made quick work on his belt and his pants. Suddenly she felt him pushing her skirt down, as he stepped out of his own pants. The moment they were off he lifted her up again, pressing her against the wall while his lips found hers. One of his hands found one of her still covered breast and cupped it, starting to massage it. Alicia arched her back and moaned.

One of her arms wrapped around him she was about to follow suit with the other, but Peter grounded his hips against hers and at the same time he twisted a nipple. Caught by surprise, she felt her hand knocking something over and heard it tumble to the floor.

Peter, on the other hand, did not seem to notice at all. He continued kissing her and massaging her breast. He started to move them down the hallway again.

She was not completely sure how they managed to get her chemise off, but off it got, just before they entered his bedroom. The next moment he slammed her down against the bed. And in a few moments the last clothes separating them were discarded as well.

His kisses were frantically drifting down her neck to her breasts, which he started to pay full attention to with his lips and mouth. Alicia was moaning and twisting in pleasure. He started to go lower, but Alicia stopped, pulling him up. Peter took the hint. The next second he was fumbling with his bedroom drawer, until he got a condom and finally slid into her body.

Alicia caught her breath, as their eyes locked in the dark. He placed a kiss on her lips, sweeter, more gentle than all of the feverish ones they had shared so far this night. But she could not deal with that, so she wrapped her arms tightly around him as she turned the kiss harder and deeper, all the while arching up against him, wanting him to move.

He followed her guidance, giving her what she wanted and needed like he had done almost two years before when she came home after kissing Will and entered Peter's bedroom, needing to convince herself she could still do it. She could still share a bed and her body with her husband.

However tonight was not about that, if she needed to say what it was about, she guessed it would be longing. Longing for what they used to be, and whom they once were, that and desire, sex. It was not about being in love, though she secretly would have to admit there was still love between them, just not same kind there used to be. She was no longer in love with him, but would probably always love him in someway.

It did not take long for either of them to find a common pace. A pace that soon had them both on the edge. And in a short moment Peter reacted like he would in the past, letting his hand find her clit and with a couple of strokes sending her over the edge before he followed himself.

His lips found the top of her left breast placing a sweet kiss there, as he collapsed on top of her. He moved off her, not to crouch her. Ironic really that he thought about that, after all it would be hard for him to crouch her more than he already had with his affairs.

None of them said anything. Whatever happened between them, it was over.

Alicia thought about getting out of the bed and going home. She was about to go through with that, when she felt Peter placing an arm lightly around her pulling her closer. She heard him sigh into her hair, or maybe it was actually her own sigh. She was not completely sure. However the arm around her felt, _-well it felt good, really._ She decided she could let herself live in their moment of their past just a few minutes longer. She closed her eyes and banished every thought of what was really going on at the moment. She let herself believe just for a few minutes that she and Peter were in bed after making love, in their old house, with the kids asleep down the hallway. The fantasy eventually turned into a dream as soon as sleep and exhaustion overcame her.

* * *

**Present time**

Alicia felt a couple of tears roll down her cheek as she remembered everything. She quickly pushed them away and forced herself not to cry. She could not and would not cry. She had no idea what this night would mean for her interactions with Peter the upcoming weeks, but she doubted he was too pleased with her leaving like that. She pressed her face against her pillow, the one that he actually used to sleep on, and forced herself back to sleep.

Peter woke up the moment Alicia closed the front door behind her. The sheets where she had been, had not gone cold yet. And he could smell the scent of her perfume on his pillow, leaving him in no doubt that Alicia really had been in his bed and it wasn't just another dream. But he also knew she was gone. And she didn't just go to the bathroom. She left the apartment. Whatever happened between them tonight had little chance of a repeat performance. He knew she thought it was a mistake, just as it was over, but still she stayed a little while. And he thought she might have really decided to stay when she had drifted off to sleep, still in his arms. But of course she left. It hurt that she was gone but he was not surprised. He just hoped that she had not left his bed and gone straight to Gardner's. Though he guessed that he, in many ways, deserved that. After all he more than once first made love to her and then went to meet Amber. The payback really was a bitch.


	2. 402: The Road to Home

_Okay inspired by yesterdays episode (do I have to say how much I loved the final scene?)_

_set after the final scene in the bus:) _

_don't own The Good Wife you know the rest... _

**The Road to Home**

Peter had started to read the speech he need to memories for the the next event a few days away, a little while ago. It had been terrible hard to actually pick it up again instead of continuing to look at Alicia. Enjoying the sight of her like this, smiling, laughing, relaxed and a little bit tired.

It had been years since she had last been this relaxed near him like she was now. And the look she had given him, so sweet and warm, full of emotions like tenderness and dared he say love.

It was something he would never have dared to believe: That she could love him ever again. That they could maybe have a real second chance at love.

He looked up from the speech again not able to really concentrate on it and wanting just one more look at Alicia. He didn't find her going over texts or resting her head against the window, like he had expected and neither was she looking at him like he might have secretly hoped for.

No, instead he found her asleep. She had pulled up her legs on the seat and laid down stretched out on the couch. Her head closest to him and her face turned towards him. She looked so incredible peaceful like this. Her long eyelashes resting against the top of her cheeks and hands curled under her head. Her hair having fallen forward so it was covering her face a little. He had missed seeing her in such a position, because truth be told in many ways, it was far more intimate than sex, as she was now her most vulnerable. It also seemed like forever, since he last saw her in some kind of peaceful sleep and not just tight up curled against the other side of the bed, scared to be to close to him. Here she was, her face and head turned towards him, she was so close he just needed to move a little and he would be sitting right next to her, and be able to feel her warm breath on his leg.

He let out a deep breath and took a look on his watch hoping they were back home soon. He might love having her like this, but he also knew that it would not be very good for her to sleep like this for long. He didn't like what he saw though: It would be way too long before they were home. He took one more look at her, before he stood up: the least he could do was to make sure she didn't get cold, which she had a tendency to when she was sleeping. He looked around hoping to find a blanket but couldn't see any, so instead he grabbed his jacket and tucked it around her, hoping that at least would help a little. He also grabbed a pillow, and carefully lifted her head, so he could slip it under, wanting to save her the headache she might otherwise get tomorrow.

He sat back down beside her again, picking up the speech once more, but not looking at it. Instead he kept looking at her. How had been that stupid to let her slip away, like sand slipping though his fingers. How could he have forgotten how much he loved and adored her, because he really did. Even more he loved the woman she had become over the last couple of years probably even more if it was possible, than the woman she was when he first met her. And god he had been smitten with her back then. The young law student that was way to smart and beautiful for her own goods, and who had most men (and some women) turn their head to look at her one more time. Even though she had been known for being an ice-queen and not easy to get close to, she still had everyone dreaming of her. He had no idea why she chose him back then but he had been honored she did.

She was still the most beautiful woman he had ever met and he really loved her more now than, he did before. It was ironic really, it took him loosing her to realize how important she was to him. And no he was not talking about his political career. Yes, she was the most important factor to that. But more than that she was important to him as a person. She was the one he trusted the most and needed the most to be truly happy, her and their children.

He really had been a fool letting her slip away and if she ever gave him another chance, he would do everything in his power to make it up to her. He had learned that his own wants, needs and desires meant nothing if she was not happy. He might want to be governor, but if it was her or that he would choose her over it any day. It had not been like that for such a long time, but he had changed and so had she.

She had changed so much, and he had never admired her more than he did now. She was so confident in herself, not needing anyone else. And that made him long to be with her again even more, to be worthy, that she would chose to be with him, because it was what she wanted and not because she couldn't be alone. She had proved many times, she did amazingly on her own, and really didn't need him in her life. Still he longed to be in it. He knew he was in no way worthy of her any more and had probably never been worthy. But he still wished she would give him a chance: If she did he would spend every day of the rest of his life trying to make her happy no matter what it took. He had realized that love was about wanting what the other wanted and what made them happy. That was also, why he could never again push her for a second chance, because he wasn't sure she wanted one. And what if he pushed and she only gave in, because he had pushed her to far once more. In the end that would hurt her, and make her sad, and he could never again be the cause of her tears.

He looked at her with soft eyes admiring her beauty. He lifted his hand and softly stoke her over the hair feeling the silky stands against the tips of his fingers. He brushed a lock of it that had fallen forward away from her face, letting his fingers linger for a second against her cheek. He almost pulled back in shock, when he saw her eyelids flutter softly, but she didn't wake up instead she turned her head a couple of inches, so his hand came to linger even more at her cheek. He kept completely still for a moment, not sure how he would explain himself if she did wake up. He held his breath, when he saw her eyelids flutter a few times again, already knowing he wouldn't be lucky enough to avoid her waking up a second time, and he wasn't. She did open her eyes slowly. He had had no idea what he would tell her now, why he was stoking her cheeking or even touching her. But to his surprise, she just looked at him with the same soft look she had given him earlier tonight. She gave him a light smile before closing her eyes and falling back asleep, not turning away or getting upset about what he had done. She had just given him that soft look and smile. He sat completely still for a minute, not sure if he should take his hand away or not however she kept sleeping peacefully once more. Peter let his fingers brush over her soft cheek a couple of times before he moved his hand to her hair, letting his fingers slip through the silky stands again.

He didn't take another look at the speech during the rest of the ride, instead he was looking at her adoringly while he stoked her hair softly.


	3. 403: A Campaign for Love

_Okay another Kiki shot (maybe I should rename the collection to that), after all it seems fitting... _

_One shot for 4.03 set after the last scene :p (Can we say Kiki and Me are dead:P and it is a ghost writing, actually it was not because I hadn't seen the scene when I wrote the story, only heard every single detail from Kiki, from what they were wearing to how Peter was sitting and when he looked up.)._

_I don't own the good wife. _

**A Campaign for Love**

She had been more relieved than she could verbally express when she learned it really were lies this time when it came to Peter's affair. That was why she had gone to him. As she drove over she had originally just planned on telling him she knew the truth. Knew that he really had been honest with her this time, and thank him for that. But the moment she walked from her car and over to the bus, she got overwhelmed by a mix of emotions. She realized why it had hurt so much this time once again. Because it truly had hurt, even though she told him she didn't give a damn, it wasn't the truth not at all. Actually she had felt almost just as broken when Eli had confirmed her beliefs as she did then she thought it was her own affair with Will being outed. Maybe she even felt more broken and sad because the other terrified her, and she knew it would hurt her kids. This would hurt her kids but more than that it felt unexpectedly hurting to her heart. It wasn't like she had completely expected Peter to stay faithful to her while they were separated, after all how could she, she hadn't followed that line herself. Still it hurt, especially because she was starting to believe he really had stayed alone, because he loved her and still hoped for a chance again with her someday. They had also been growing closer again, and she had been feeling like they might really be working on _it, _their marriage, and trying to get it back, or at least working toward being able to work on _it_.

She had felt in sync with him, once more opening here heart to him a little bit further each day. She had felt like, that maybe she really was falling back in love with him. At least she felt her stomach flutter in a million butterflies, then he looked at her these days, with something she recognized as love in his eyes.

She had been hurt by him, but she was starting to see that under the hurt she still cared for him, maybe even still loved him, so to learn that it might all be a lie and a game once again had felt terrible. And in one moment it all changed once again, she learned that he really had told her the truth, that it had been a lie and a set up, that he wasn't leading her on or playing her again. He was being honest and upfront with her.

That was why she had walked over to where he sat, and reached down. Her emotions were all over the place: from the sight of him so casual dressed, the last few days uproar of feelings, and the realization that she still cared for him as her husband and not just a person dear to her.

She needed and wanted to see if she felt anything at all, if she kissed him. So the moment he looked up at her from his papers, confusion all over his face she leaned down, one hand on his arm and the other behind his head, knowing this would surprise him even more.

She had a brief memory of an almost similar kiss, she had given him 3 years ago. She felt more than a little nervous the second before she pressed her lips against his. The contact had send shivers through her, _god __she __had__n't __expected __it __to __feel __that __good_. She pulled back taking in the surprise on his face while smiling and letting herself enjoy the taste of him, she had gotten. She realizing that it really had felt amazing and she wanted more of him, more than that brief taste. She knew, he would say something in a moment when he got over his surprise and happiness, _he did thankfully look happy and showed it by wiggling his eyebrows a little at her,_ and not just shocked. However she wasn't sure she could explain anything at the moment to him about her action or what she felt. It didn't change the fact that she wanted more than what she had gotten so far. She reached back down once more pressing her lips against his, and making sure to silence whatever he might be thinking of asking her.

She could hear the blood thundering in her ears, this, _kissing him_, was so much better than she remembered. She was more than a little relieved as she felt his lips immediate returning the pressure under this second kiss. The first kiss had been too quick to expect a response for sure, but it didn't change the fact that she still felt a little nervous by his lack of response. _Didn't __he __want __her __anymore?__ W__as __she __alone __in __wanting __this? __Had __she __been __wrong, __when __she __saw __the __look __on __his __face __and __thought __it__ w__as __love?__ Had he moved on from __her? __God __what __a __fool __she __would __look __like __if __he__ had_. But this time his eyes slide shut and his lips pressed back against hers. She felt his lips starting to move slightly more against hers. She let out a small sighed in relief, opening her mouth a little, needing to deepen the kiss. She was letting her tongue run against his lips, hoping he would take the hint. He did, he opened his mouth for her probing tongue, meeting it with his own. However to her surprise, he was still letting her control it, just following her. Making her be the one in control of the pace of things, and she kind of liked that feeling. Well he was responding, but he was still restrained in it. She nibbled on his lips, and kept probing his mouth with her tongue trying to see what it would take for him to really loose control. _Okay __did __she __really __want __him __to __do __that? __Yes, __she __realized, __she __really __did. __She __wanted __to __know __that __she __could __still __affect __him __enough __to __make __him __loose __control._ She felt him let out a breath as he shuddered. _Good __she __was __getting __to __him, __and __she __liked __knowing __that. _Suddenly things changed, the papers he had read feel to the floor, and she felt his hands fastened around her waist, and he pulled her down so she was sitting on his lap. One of his hands cupped her face, as soon as she was sitting, tipping it to the side so he had better access to her mouth, and it was no longer her leading their kiss. He forcefully invaded her mouth, hungrily parting her lips, making her let out a whimper in pleasure. She let her other hand find the back of his head as well, letting her fingers become completely intertwined in his hair. She had forgotten how good it felt to be kissing him like this, with such fierce passion and need. She was more than a little surprised to find out, how much she wanted, no _needed_ more, needed more of this pleasure and of him. Her head felt light already maybe because of the lack of oxygen, or maybe because of the pleasure just kissing him like this once more was giving her. She wish it would never stop feeling like it did in this moment ever again. She was more than a little scared what that feeling meant. She was also scared to pieces of what he would ask her the moment they needed to break the kiss off in need of air. She really wanted whatever was happening right now just to continue, nothing asked or in need of an definitive answer. However Peter must have felt out of breath too, as he pulled back for a second, leaving them both panting for oxygen for a minute. The look on his face, told her he was thinking hard about asking what had brought this on, and she _would_ explain it to him at some point, she was not naive enough to think that coming in, after they had been at the _edge_ once more, and kissing him like this could go over with nothing asked, but hopefully the talk could wait to later instead of right now. She was too worked up from only kissing him, to think about anything else than him sliding into her once again, to bring her to her ultimate pleasure. She needed it and she needed it so badly that she could almost taste it. Especially since she now knew she still cared for him, even loved him, and he really had changed and it wasn't just all an act to get elected.

She wasn't sure when he had learned to read her like an open book once again, but he clearly sensed that she couldn't think about explanations right now. With a soft moan, he sealed his chiseled mouth over hers once again, stealing away thoughts of explanations and reasons with another lush, deep kiss. A kiss just as pleasurable as the other ones they had shared, and one that left her in no doubt that he was just as turned on as she. Alicia pushed her fingers into his hair to hold him still, and kissed him back once again, with everything she had, hoping he understood the message she was trying to convey with no words spoken. As his hand slide from her waist to her thigh, stoking it, gripping it, she was sure he did get it. She let out a low groan forced by this action, one that clearly encouraged him to continue, as the hand slid further along, over to her ass gripping it, massaging it, making her wiggle and whimper in his lap. Meanwhile her tongue slid along his, stroking it in an intimate dance. He pulled her closer against his body. Her breasts were now pressed completely against his hard chest, she sighed in delight, it felt amazing and she only wished there were less fabric separating them. His hand on her ass made her burn all over, and made her lower abdomen tighten in anticipation and she knew she needed more, the wetness she could already feel coating the top of her inner thighs was another hint. She knew needed more pressure against other parts of her and to get that she needed more contract and she wouldn't be happening sitting like this. She broke the kiss leaving them both panting for air once more, but this time she stood up from his lap. She saw his eyes grow serious, as soon as he saw her get up, and he started to open his mouth clearly intending to say something. However he never got far enough to say a word, he just gasped as she didn't turn away, but instead pulled her skirt up to her hips before she sat down in his lap once more, this time straddling him, happy that the chair was at least big enough to do this. She pressed herself against him completely, while wrapping her arms around him again and kissing ferociously him once more, silencing whatever he could possible be thinking of saying. She needed him and she needed him _badly_, and this was the only way she could express it right now. She could feel how shocked he was once more by her actions, stiffing for a second, before returning the kiss with equal desire and eagerness.

His arms went back around her cautiously, stoking her back and pressing her lightly even closer against him. The kiss turned more fiercely with hunger and desire with every second passing. Alicia once more shoved her hands into his hair, making the last inch of air between them disappear. She loved the way he was returning the kiss now, like he been going crazy by not being able to kiss her and touch her for so long. And maybe he had been going crazy with longing for her if he really had stayed alone ever since she kicked him out, it must have driven him almost insane. _Did __he __really __love __her __that __much_? That thought both scared her and made her fall deeper into those renewed feelings for him, she been havinglately all at the same at the same time. She sucked on his tongue eagerly, knowing how much he loved it in the past, and wanting to make him feel as much on the edge that she was.  
She shouldn't have worried about it though, as she rubbed against him she felt his prominent erection pressed against her still covered core, hidden under some kind of flimsy thin lace material (_she __was __suddenly __very __happy __she __had __chosen __that __morning_). She pulled a little back, without breaking the kiss or the enjoyable pressure against her most sensitive parts. Just enough so she could run her hands down his hard chest through the dress shirt feeling his muscles, tighten under the brush of her fingers. She rocked her hips back and front stroking herself with his hard length, while she kept running her hands allover his chest unbuttoning the top buttons. She felt him let out a hissed breath against her mouth, before he broke the kiss. "Alicia... " He started to say but she shook her head,

"I need you." Was all she said before reaching forward and kissing him on his neck right above his collar. She breathed in his scent, and felt more than a little intoxicated by it. _J__ust __like __she __had __when __she __was __24 __and __they __first __met_. She reached for the fly of his slacks, freeing the button to access the zipper. He tensed slightly. "I need this," She whispered against his neck "Please." She hoped he would just give in, but he didn't. Instead she felt him stop her hands, before sliding up to her shoulders so he could push her back a little. She suddenly felt insecure, _was __he __regretting __it_? Didn't he want her anyway? She was suddenly scared to look into his eyes and no longer see desire or want for her, how could she be so stupid to think he still wanted her just like this? After she kicked him out, so long ago and never gave him a hint that there might still be a chance.

She felt one of his hands under her chin, turning her face and making her look at him again. His eyes were dark and burning but they were full love, longing and desire. She felt a rush of arousal just because of his tender eyes. "I love you." He whispered stroking her cheek in a sweet caress, before bringing her back in. And with those words he had managed to shake her carefully build back world once more. However his lips sliding gently against hers once more, tender and yet eager at the same time, once more made her forget the doubts about how this maybe not being the best idea after all, all due to his declaration of love. His kiss made her forget everything else, but the still burning need she had felt before hand. And when she started to reach for his zipper once more, he was relaxed just kissing her passionately.

**Very M-rated stuff**

He groaned, as he fell heavily into her palms, the sound was both pained and erotic at the same time. She felt a warm rush, because she could still turn him on like this. She could still get him that worked up. It felt good and made her even more confident: That he could still want her as much as this: Even after having been with hookers and someone like Kalinda, who were doubtlessly more experience in the arts of seduction than she, and she did wonder and had for a long time, what she could ever really offer him in that area now. After all in the past, he had sought those other women, and how could he ever really be desiring her after that. But he clearly did! she couldn't remember a time where she had gotten him this worked up and turned on, in a very long time, and it gave her confidence and made her let go of the doubt she had felt for minute, that he really didn't want her anymore.

She squeezed him lightly, her touch soft and tender as she sized him with her hands. He was so hard, like steal, but smooth and warm at the same time, it was like burning steal wrapped in silk. She slid both of her hands up his length from base to tip, smiling into the kiss when he quivered beneath her.

Alicia felt him gripping her thighs, sliding further up over her soft skin, making it her turn to whimper and shudder, until he got to the lace tong she had on. A tong that was completely soaked by now. One of his fingers quickly slid beneath the edge, the pad sliding through the slickness of her desire. Almost making her come apart right there, that was how worked up she already was: - _Sweet __Jesus __would __she __even __be __able __to __last__ long __enough __be __joined __with __him._ He pushed the finger inside her. She bit his lower lip as she clenched helplessly around him, forcing herself to hold back the orgasm, she was already so close to. He stoke in and out of her a few times, before pulling his fingers back out. She let out a pained mewl over the loss of the intimate contact. But she was too desperate to have him, to think about it for long. Instead she placed her hands, on his shoulders for balance as she lifted herself up a little. Gaining the height so she could hovering over the crown of Peter's erection. His hands fasted at her hips and she heard a sharp snap he tore her panties off. He broke the kiss for a moment, looking deeply into her eyes as he lifted his hips to push his pants down. His erection brushed between her legs, and she couldn't comprehend another thought, than how much she desired this. He moved slightly making her whimper again. She was aching for him, feeling empty without him, and for a short second she realized it wasn't just in the sexual sense, those words were true. She felt empty without him in her life, as her partner, confident and lover. However as he made another movement, with his hips, she forgot it once more. He tensed slightly, clearly just as much on the edge as she, when she wrapped her fingers around him and positioned him against her entrance. The air was almost humming of a seductive mix of need, desire. Her skin was flushed and tingling, her breasts felt heavy and tender, and she wish they were in a position where he didn't need to hold her hips but could touch them instead. He gasped as she lowered herself onto him, his hands flexing restlessly on her waist, but never once did he break eye-contact, and all she saw in his eyes was his over-powering love for her. She felt how she clenched tightly around him in a vice like grip, very close to coming undone right there. She closed her eyes for a second, feeling too exposed, as she was suddenly sure he had been able to read all the emotions she had tried so hard to hid over the last 3 years. This seemed too intimate, too dangerous, she was terrified for how easily he could break her heart again. She opened her eyes again, once she felt him brush soft kisses all over her face, on her cheeks, ears, eyelids and lips. She relaxed for a moment and lowered herself more, letting him slide deeper into her body and her heart. She sucked in a deep breath, suddenly feeling exquisitely stretched. Everything in her core tightened and clenched, sucking him even deeper in. She looked at him from under heavy eyelids, before pressing her lips against his pouring every unspoken emotion into the kiss. She felt another rush of wetness making her able to slid smoothly down the length of him, until she'd completely sheathed him. He was so deep in her she could hardly stand it, after all she hadn't been with someone for about 9 months now, so this unexpected intrusion in her body was almost too much to take, plus Peter wasn't exactly the smallest guy in either length or girth. She shifted from side to side, trying to ease the unforeseen bite of discomfort. She felt Peter's hands on her back, caressing her, stroking her, trying to make her relax again, he had clearly read her once more and was now trying to calm her down. Her body didn't seem to care about the intrusion and stretching though. She was trembling and squeezing him completely on the verge of orgasm. She lifted up knowing she needed to move, sliding up a few inches before he stopped her slowing her pace down a little. She lowered taking him back in again, feeling an oddly luscious soreness as he pushed just past her limits once more. Their eyes locked on each other, their lips was still connected in a burning kiss, as the pleasure spread through them. It suddenly struck her that they were both fully clothed, except for the most private and intimate parts of their bodies. It was unbelievable carnal and wild, and it made her more than a little thrilled to know they could still want each other that much after so many years, and so much trouble over the last few of them. They kissed soft and tenderly as she rocked her hips slowly, feeling her orgasm build with every slide, and every second it grew harder and harder to hold back. But at the same time she wished for this moment to last longer, so she fought on holding it back as long as possible. With his hands holding her hips, Peter guided her rhythm, tilting her into an angle, that had him rubbing a tender, aching spot inside her, one he had always been good at finding, and knowing this would bring her the most pleasure. She tightened and shook, realizing she was going to come from that, just from the expert thrust of him inside her. "Peter." she whimpered against his lips. He stoke her back as the orgasm started to rock through, her making she was trembling all over. He watched her fall apart, holding her gaze, as he hit the end of her with the deep thrust again and again, making her orgasm even stronger. She tightened around him like a vice, and when she felt him come apart within her, his warm release coating her inner walls, and making her pleasure if it was even possible even stronger.

**M-rated things over**

As they came back down, she closed her eyes and buried her head against his shoulder. His hands stroke her back and hair softly, she knew he was sensing her unexpected overwhelming vulnerability. He held her close to him, pressing his damp face into the curve of her neck placing a sweet kiss on a spot where he had long ago learned she was very sensitive. None of them spoke for what felt like an hour, instead they just sat there holding each other. After what felt like forever she finally pulled back a little, looking at him. She knew, they needed to talk and she wasn't completely sure she liked that. Peter lifted his hand and caressed her cheek, before pushing a stand of hair behind her ear. He cupped her cheek softly, and she smiled slightly tipping her head, pressing her face against his palm a little more. "Did you mean it?" She finally asked, her voice barely a whisper. He looked confused for a second and when realized what she meant. "Yes, I did... You didn't know?"

She swallowed the lump forming in her throat. "I wasn't sure, if you still felt like that about me!" She carefully admitted. He looked surprised for a second. "I love you Alicia, more than you can imagine. And I am not going to stop loving you again." She looked down feeling emotionally naked once more, and she didn't like that at all. "This...you and me just now... it was more than lust to me. And I think it might be more to you too." He told her carefully.

She suddenly felt an extreme need to pull away from him- _H__e __had __read __it __on __her __face __like __she __feared_. She looked up at him slowly, hating that she couldn't really run this time.

"I can't say those words again... not now.. _yet... _it isn't that they aren't true... it's just..." She admitted softly. He nodded, not looking surprised, angry or sad like, she might have been able to understand. "I know. I hurt you so much, honey, and I regret it everyday. I don't expect you to return those word, like I would once in the past. I know it is not the same with us anymore. Those words are only about my feelings for you, they don't depend you or you returning them, but I still need you know that I do care for you like that." She nodded slowly.

"I know you told the truth, that you had not been with that woman." Alicia admitted softly, wanting to at least give him something. Let him know that she could give him credit when credit needed. He gave her a half smile. "I almost guessed that, just from your smile and kiss." She looked back down of course he had figured it out. He knew she would never have come here tonight acting like this, if not for something big. He tipped her face up again, and pulled her closer, so he could give her a light kiss on the lips. "We better get dressed." She suddenly felt confused by the meaning of his words. "Eli can come any moment now! I did after all think you were him, and I don't intend on giving him a show." He told her. She quickly stood up in shock. They could have risked Eli walking in on them any moment, during their coupling. She smoothed down her skirt with out a word, as Peter zipped up his pants, and collected the papers he had read before she came, that were spread around them on the floor.

She looked back up at him, and realized she might not be able to speak the words he had told her, but there were still other things she could offer at this point in time, things she had been scared to offer ever since she learned about Kalinda and him, probably even before that. Things she had been scared to offer not only him but Will as well, because that would mean starting to let people in once more. Things she was ready to give Peter once more, and if she was honest, had been ready to give him over the last few weeks, just hadn't had the courage yet.

"Will you take me home?" She whispered softly. He looked at her fondly once more.

"Of course." She smiled back at him.

"We could maybe have dinner." She told him hesitating.

He smiled at her attempt, and leaned in and gave her another long slow kiss.

"Owen is watching the kids." She admitted.

"Are you trying to make me to take you out to dinner?" He asked her carefully, like he wanted to be sure he understood her offer of a date correctly. She was pretty sure the light smile she gave him as an answer was understood and the invitation was accepted, since he reached in and kissed her one more time.


	4. 410: Of Innocence and Guilt

_Okay this story is set post 4.10 and it include a scene I have actually taken fro Gossip Girl but Terri and I a long time ago talked about would have been adorable with AP and something we could totally see happening. It is the flashback paragraph._

_Oh yeah and hope this makes up for the lack of AP in 4.10_

_I don't own the Good Wife if I did Alicia and Peter would be waking up in each others arms first scene ever episode and make out in the last scene of every episode. _

* * *

**Of Innocence and Guilt  
**

She knew this wasn't a very good idea, showing up at his doorstep late at night. It was past midnight as she knocked on his door. She knew she could very well risk waking the kids or Jackie. Still here she was. She knew there was a chance he might not hear her, because she couldn't risk ringing the bell that would be too loud. She knocked again, begging to a higher power he would hear or sense her or something like that, but nothing happened. She was about to turn around and leave when the door was opened. It was more than clear she had woken him up, the sleep in his eyes confirmed that. His eyes were heavy and his hair messy, 5 o'clock shadow on his cheeks they were all signs of him haven already been fast asleep. Just like his open dress-shirt and sweat pants were. She knew he easily got warm at night and many times preferred to sleep with nothing but boxers on, so the clothes had probably been thrown on before he went to answer the door.

"Alicia? Are you okay?" He asked confused, clearly not knowing why she was here. She shook her head. No if there was one thing she didn't feel like, it was okay. Years ago when she had first started to work as a defense lawyer, she was once told that some day her work would catch up with her. That she was too pure and good to really fit on that side. It hadn't happened back then, she had stopped working too soon for it to happen. She had a few cases since she came back that left her feel morally ambivalent since she came back to work. But it wasn't until today she really felt it. In order to protect their client, a guilty client, for killing a young woman that could just as well have been Grace in a few years. She had helped having an innocent man thrown into jail. And Though he would appeal and they could now give the evidence there, it didn't change fact that she knew how long ti would take before that appeal came to happen and that he would by then have served jail time that shouldn't be his.

Peter stepped aside letting her in. She had only stepped over the doorstep before she turned ti him throwing herself in his arms. She needed the comfort he always offered her. She needed the warmth of his body against hers. And more than that she needed the safety she knew he gave her. She pressed her face against his warm bare chest, breathing in his musky scent. He was so warm and strong, her man. All powerful, gentle and protective of her at the same time and she needed that right now. His arms came to rest around her holding her closer against him as one of his hands found her hair combing it and stroking it softly.

"Alicia what is wrong?" He asked her gently as she snuggled deeper into his comforting embrace, breathing him in.

"I just helped send an innocent man to jail today. I was told to help send someone we had proved was innocent to jail just so our client who was really guilty could walk free. The poor guy, he was so broken. Peter I helped commit juridical murder. Just in the hopes it would let a really killer walk. For the first time I wished I was bad at my job." She whispered against him half in tears.

She felt him nod against her, letting out a deep breath.

"we are talking about the double case right? Where the murder was prosecuted two places at once?" He asked her softly.

"Yes. They send me there so I could help the prosecution. I feel so terrible Peter. I really hated this, how do you learn to live with it?" he nodded again and caressed her hair and back.

"Come one lets go into the living room instead of standing here, and we can talk." She looked up at him, hesitating a little. She really didn't want to talk, she just wanted to have him hold her, and warm and comfort her. Maybe share her pain a little. And Peter himself looked so tired and worn, how had she missed how tired and worn he really looked. She suddenly felt a little bad for waking him up like this. So she whispered the reason she had really driven the 45 min trip to high land park.

"Can't you just hold me through the night." She asked softly, this was what she really wanted. To rest in his arms, letting him take her tears away.

He looked unsure for a minute until she realized how it might sound to him. After all here he was offering her an ear to listen, and she asked him more or less to take her into his bed with him.

"I'm not talking about sex. Just, will you hold me?" She clarified the meaning behind her words.

"Of course if that is what you would like. Go on up, and I will lock up again and come join you." he told her, letting her step out of his arms. She could feel his eyes following her up the step of the stairs. She went directly to his bedroom, the room that was once their bedroom. It felt weird how it wasn't the case any longer as she stood there just inside the door. Well it didn't look like the bedroom they had once shared either. It was more masculine, more Peter and less her, but not in a bad way. It wasn't bachelor style at all, and certainly nothing like Will's bedroom she had seen more of last year. That had clearly showed he didn't live with anyone, and he was a true bachelor. Peter's bedroom was masculine, but not over done, and she actually liked it a lot, could see herself enjoying this room and setting. It was surprisingly well decorated, pictures, and wardrobes and nips. The covers on the bed though messed up now, she could make out to be a rich blue color. She was truly pleasant surprised. She actually liked the way he seemed to have decorated it. It was his and she could recognize him in this room. Her eye caught sight of a couple of pictures he had on his dresser and walked over to take a closer look. She smile as she saw what pictures it was, the first of Zach and Grace in a very young age holding hands and smiling at the camera. There were also one of each of them as older, along with the family photo, she herself still had as her screen saver on her laptop, even though Zach had offered to change it many times, she liked having it there her family smiling at her, and it was one of the last times her and Peter were truly happy before everything fell apart. The last photo she picked up to study and almost dropped it again in complete surprise. It was a photo of her in profile, she had no idea when exactly it was take, and she clearly hadn't noticed it happening either, because she wasn't looking in the direction of the camera instead her gaze was fixed upon the ocean in front of her. She had never seen it before, and had no idea where Peter had gotten it from.

"It's form Sicily." She hadn't heard Peter approach so she almost dropped the photo in mere surprise of the sound of his voice so close by. She nodded.

"yeah I almost guessed that, because of the dress. I have never seen it before though." She answered softly, still amazed.

"I took it back on the trip, no idea why you haven't seen it before though. I used to have it in my office on my desk." He explained carefully.

"I guess, I just haven't noticed it before." She wondered slightly, still part in shock.

"Do you mind I have it?" He asked nervously.

Alicia shook her head, she didn't mind. She just wasn't sure why it was that picture of her he had chosen to display in his bedroom or office of anything. He answered the question in her thoughts without her saying it out loud.

"I like that photo of you Alicia, because of the way you carry yourself in it. You look so gentle, innocent and yet so strong and powerful. You remind me of one of those ancient goddesses in it. The dress is so thing and light on you, and the wind blowing in your hair, you looks in peace. The picture captured the essence of who you are, and that is why it is my favorite one."

She placed it back down and looked over at him and nodded softly, taking in his sweet words. She wasn't completely sure how to take his gentle words. But they did make her feel warm and flattered.

"I guess we should try and get some sleep?" She whispered softly, making Peter nod. She shrugged out of her jacket and stepped out of her shoes.

"Would you like a shirt to sleep in?" he offered her and she nodded, but just pointed to the button down he still had one hanging completely open.

"I can just use that Peter, you don't need to find me a clean one." She hopped her would agree, because she would truly prefer to use the one he had worn through the day and which was now soft from wear and smelling of him and his cologne. Peter nodded and took it off and handed it to her.

"Do you need a shower or something? Would you like for me to find you an extra tooth brush?" Alicia nodded and Peter stepped around her and walked into the bathroom. She undressed further, not really thinking about how he could return any second now. She pulled the shirt around her as she pulled her chemise over her head. As she was done undressing except for her tong she walked into the bathroom. Peter had already found her a tooth brush and was now pulling out towels for her.

"Do you need me to go look for some of Grace shampoo?" He asked her gently.

"No this is fine. I'll be quick." he left her alone to business. She showered and brushed her teeth. After that she dressed in his soft shirt, (she had already decided he wouldn't be getting this one back, it was coming home with her as her new night dress) and her tong again, before walking back in to his bedroom. He was in bed with the bedside lamp on reading. She walked to the opposite side, smiling internal she knew he had been sleeping on the other side before but had moved over to give her, the side she preferred and she normally slept in. She pulled back the sheets a bit more and slid in beside him. He turned off the lamp and laid down beside her, turned so he was facing her. She moved over to him so she was snuggled up against him. Peter placed his arms around her pulling her even closer to him and she moved so she was mostly lying directly on top of him. For a long time she had only slept like this it had been the way she got the best rest and felt the safest, with Peter's warm bare chest as her pillow. She turned so her face was pressed into him. His hand finding her hair again and stroking it softly. She remembered another time so long ago where his arms had been all she need to find comfort again.

* * *

_They had been dating for almost 9 months and she was at her 2nd year at Georgetown and Peter had recently moved to DC in order to be closer to her. Her mother had come to visit her the first time ever while she was in D.C. They had lunch out in town, Owen was there as well. Peter had a court hearing. He couldn't get out of, no matter how hard he tried, so he hadn't been able to join her. The lunch had gone horrible, and ended in another fight with her mother. She had originally planned on sleeping in her own apartment that night. Peter had to work late, but she had felt that miserable after the lunch that she gone back to his place. _

_Peter walked in to his bed room and intermediately noticed the silhouette of her lying on her side in his bed staring out of the window. _

"_I thought you said you would sleep at your own place tonight?" He asked a bit confused. She had told him she needed to study and catch up with Will, and would stay home that night. _

"_I changed my mind." She whispered. He could hear the tears in her voice. So he walked right over and laid down beside her._

"_How was the lunch?" He asked her carefully, already knowing it might be a sore subject from the way she was acting._

"_Bad. I fought with her about same things as always. Not visiting enough, calling and all that. I told her that I at least called more than she. Owen was on her side as he always is." She whispered softly. Peter wrapped his arms around her pulling her close._

"_I'm sorry." he told her. And he really was. He wished she didn't have such a awful relationship with her mother. And that the father whom she adored lived closer than the opposite side of the country. _

"_It's okay... I have you. That is all I really need." She admitted pulling his arms around her, as he placed he kiss on the crown on her hair. He was he shelter against everything bad. _

* * *

"You are sure, you don't want to talk about it?" he offered, they both knew what he was referring to.

"There are not much more to say. I was helping my own client and that meant an innocent man went to jail for a crime he never committed and murder of the woman he had loved. How do you live with that Peter? How do I live with it?" She whispered but the force behind her words was clear.

"You learn to harden yourself and learn that sometimes wrong things happens but you can't dwell on it. How do you normally handle knowing your client is guilty and you still get him out and you know there is a huge chance he will do it again? You do the same here." He explained softly as he caressed her back.

"That is the problem I can better deal with 3 murders walks than an innocent goes to jail. And now I had to go so far for a guilty client that is what happened. I am exhausted Peter." She mumbled as she closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of being this close to the only person she had ever known that made her feel completely relaxed and safe.

"I know Alicia. I hate it too when that happen, can't you remember the many times I have come home to you to do nothing but hold you close and let you take my pain away, because I had realized I had been a part of that happening. There is no true cure. Do you need me to try and pull some strings to see what I can do about it?" He asked her tenderly.

"We both know you can't do that but thank you." She whispered.

"Is that all that is bugging you, I mean since you are so exhausted?" he wondered.

" No. not just this. But my mom, the kids, your campaign, a creepy client that now finally seems gone but who threaded me two days ago. I am so tired." She answered honestly, glad to finally share her burden with someone, especially when that someone was Peter.

"What? You were threatened?" Peter started to sit up, and she knew he was anything but calm now.

"yes, but Peter it is dealt with. I got nothing to fear anymore." She answered as she pressed him back down.

"You threatened you Alicia? And nothing to fear anymore? What is that supposed to mean?" He was really angry and she was pretty sure if Kalinda hadn't already done god knows what with Nick, Peter would. Never less she shouldn't have mentioned it, this might create trouble.

"No one you knows Peter a client and he is gone now, I am alright. Plus I am here with you, how could I worry when I am lying like this." She placed a light kiss on his chest hoping it would distract him. It did, though he didn't seem happy to let it go.

"Okay but if you hear anything about him being close again you'll come me, alright?" He asked her gently but yet forceful.

"I will. I promise." She whispered.

"Okay, you say you are exhausted. Maybe you need a vacation." he offered her caring.

"That would be nice. I promised the kids that back in February but it never came to happen. And I don't know if I can now I mean with work and everything." She explained.

"Let me take you and the kids away for Christmas, Alicia. I know you fear your mother will show up again for that. So let me take you away." He offered her carefully.

She looked up and met his gaze and smiled when she realized he really meant it.

"You are offering to take me and the kids away for the holiday season? What about Jackie?" Alicia asked because she would definitely say yes if it was just Peter, the kids and she who was going but if Jackie was coming it wouldn't be the relaxing trip she could really use now.

"Melanie own me a favor or two. I know that would only stress you. I want to take you away so you can relax again." He explained.

"So you would leave Jackie with your sister, just to spend Christmas with the kids and me, so I could relax?" Alicia asked just to be completely sure.

"I would. So you're up for it?" He asked.

"I am... I will get the time off and we can go. where will you take us?" She asked curiously.

"That however will be a surprise. But it will be cold." He teased her gently as he ran a finger down her cheek.

"You don't know it yet do you? But it is okay." She yawned during the last couple of words.

"I do know it already. But it will be a surprise. We should try and get some sleep if you are feeling happier now?" He reached down and placed a kiss on the top of her head, as she stretched out on him cuddling a little closer to him.

"I am and you are right we should. What about the kids? I mean I can't wake up in your bed what will they think?" She asked suddenly she really hadn't thought this through when she decided she wanted to sleep in his arms for the night.

"I have set the alarm early before they wake up. I will sneak downstairs and take the couch and we will say you came over late last night to talk and everything will be fine." he explained to her.

"Okay sounds fine." She looked up at him again. "Good night Peter and thank you for this." She wondered if she should reach up and give him a good night kiss, but didn't.

"Good night Alicia." he placed another kiss on the top of her head before they both snuggled more into each others embrace, before falling asleep.

* * *

_AN Okay so the set up with Peter taking Alicia and the kids away for Christmas is a set up for another story I will write as a Christmas present for a very good and sweet friend of mine. _

_Also note I have a few more of these episode tags oneshots planned and a couple of them written and almost finished. _


	5. 412: Morning Glow

_This story is dedicated to Kiki=my BFF, and Steffi= my soul mate, along with them it is dedicated to all the lovely Alicia/Peter shippers on fanforum. Mostly however it is dedicated to Danielle, because it was her confirmation that the first scene of 4.12 was meant as Alicia and Peter - that gave me the inspiration to do this story. If you don't know who Danielle is, well she is Julianna Margulies Stand in on The Good Wife. So unless the Kings come out and say something different I chose to believe an insider over biased shippers. So therefore the first scene was intended as Alicia & Peter in bed._

_Also I interpreted this as a flashback rather than a daydream fantasy like so many others, because of the lightning._

_I don't own the good wife.  
_

* * *

**Morning Glow**

_Pre episode_

She shivered a bit when she awoke. Why was her bed suddenly feeling so cold when it had not felt like that for the rest of the night? She pulled at the sheets bringing them further up hoping they would help shield her against the cold. Why was she even awake already, the alarm had not gone off yet? She turned around and was facing the sun. Facing the sun? Why hadn't the blinds been closed, the sunrise was bright enough to annoy her, so she finally cracked an eye open while considering if she should get out of bed and close the blinds and enjoy a little more sleep while she still could.

However the thought disappeared with what she saw - Peter standing at the foot of the bed putting on his pants again. She sat up slowly, looking at him. His back was turned her way so he didn't notice that she had woken up. She felt a bit weird, this was the first time since they started having casual sex again that they had fallen asleep afterward and actually spent the night together. However sitting there, taking in the sight of his broad shoulders made her feel almost giddy inside, last night had been amazing.

The things he had done to her almost made her blush but even more, she enjoyed the sounds she made him let out, the darkened look of desire clouding his eyes as he looked at her almost with proprietorship, sending shivers down her back. God, in the last year before everything went bad she had longed and wished for him to once more look at her like that, wished for such intensity, passion and need. And now she got just that and was enjoying every second of it. Like how they had been so spent afterwards that they lay there panting and gasping in each other's arms, after she had quickly slipped her negligee back on and Peter his boxers, never realizing they were drifting off to sleep. Now, though she felt a little bit sore, she wished they had time for another round, the sight of his bare back was already making her aroused. She looked over at the alarm clock checking the time, hoping it really would be a while before she had to get up and risk the kids waking up. She smiled as she realized there were still one and a half hour. She slipped out from under the covers, sneaking up behind him until she could wrap her arms around him from behind.

"You're leaving?" She asked, resting her face against his back, breathing in his warm and musky scent combined with the smell of sex that still hung onto him. She felt him shudder lightly in surprise of having her there, and her soft touches.

"Did I wake you up? I shouldn't have fallen asleep last night. I am sorry Alicia." He said as he carefully turned to face her. She smiled lazily up at him, she didn't mind that he had spent the night as much as she should, actually she had slept rather well, better than she had in a long time. His body warmth had been relaxing and comforting, making her sleep deeply and peacefully, and she now knew it was the lack of that warmth that had woke her up.

"What about you make it up to me instead, and we make good use of being up this early?" her eyes were twinkling and shining like stars, teasing him about what she wanted, while she tilted her head slightly and smiled at him. He stared at her.

"What about the kids?" he finally asked.

"We got an hour before we have to worry." She answered, as she ran her hands up his still naked chest, to his neck so she could pull his head down for a kiss. He didn't object, the kiss was slower, gentler than those they had shared last night that had been a battle of tongues and control. She nibbled on his lips, tempting him to deepen the kiss, and he did. Still this was gentle yet passionate. He slid his arms around her pulling her in closer, the silk of her nightgown riding up a little as his hands moved over her back. She moaned softly into the kiss, and felt how he had moved them a little backwards to the edge of bed, while slowly exploring her mouth and stroking every hidden place in it. She sucked on his tongue making him growl in approval. He lowered her gently onto the bed, following her down. She smiled into the kiss.

This actually felt very nice, when she had asked him to make it up to her she had first imagined a quick round maybe in the shower before he left. But the way he was kissing her now, deep, tender and slow as he lowered her onto the bed and moved them up a little convinced her that would not be the case at all. He seemed to be taking his time with her.

This made her smile because he clearly remembered she preferred it slow and gentle in the morning. And he was giving her that. Unlike last night he was now exploring her body, her mouth, her shoulders and her neck. She moaned as he tasted the soft skin of her throat, drawing a line down to her collarbone, before he returned and stole a kiss of her lips again. Moving in a line from her lips and down to her ear he sucked gently on the lobe, nibbling on it teasingly. She whimpered softly because of his ministrations and she pushed up against him in pleasure.

In a moment where he was not fully focused she grabbed the chance and rolled them around. She found his lips again as she moved over him slowly, grinding herself against him and making him moan deeply into her mouth. She smiled to herself, pleased that she could still affect him like this. Make him desire her so much, even like this slow and gentle, not just wild and passionate. She moved down a little so she could place soft kisses along his throat. She moved back up and kissed his lip gently. It was her turn to moan as his hand slid up under her silk negligee, sliding it up a little. The movement of the silk against her skin sent shivers down her back, making her tremble in arousal.

He rolled her over again, moving on top of her as he continued to kiss her. His hand ran down her side to her thigh. She had bend her leg to make better room for him, the tips of his fingers stroking the bare skin as he continued to explore her mouth. She held his face tenderly in between her palms, the metal of her wedding ring cold against his warm skin. His hard body resting against hers, hard angles against soft curves molding together, like they were made to be fitted like this.

His fingers slid from her thigh and over the soft skin of her inner thigh until they brushed the slick sensitive skin between her legs. She whimpered in pleasure just form a simple stoke of his fingers over her most sensitive part. He rubbed her softly, letting a finger circle her entrance gently, before spreading some of her juices over her and rubbing her clit softly. He did this a few times before finally sliding a finger into her body. She instantly clenched down on it, moaning deeply into his mouth. He moved it gently inside of her in a slow pace. She whimpered for she was more sensitive than she had thought she would be, and more sore than she had imagined but this still felt amazing. He moved a second one into her, as his lips found the secret spot behind her ear, kissing it and making her shudder in pleasure. His thumb found her clit and rubbed it, as the tips of his fingers found the most sensitive spot in her, making her shudder and clench down on him as she fell over the edge.

Her breathing was deep and labored, as she started to calm down again, however she needed him inside her now, she needed that connection with him again even though she was sore and sensitive and had just come, she needed him. She in some way managed to roll them over once more, getting on top of him. His hands sliding over her hips and butt in a sweet caress as she sat up on top of him. Her wetness coating his stomach. She let her head fall back while letting out a soft moan, still sensitive from her orgasm. The feeling of the warm skin of his stomach against her most sensitive parts had her close to the edge again. His hands were stroking her back and she looked down at him and smiled, while rubbing herself a little more against him, making him the one to be moaning.

He pulled her back down so he could kiss her, while he slid the black silk of her nightgown up and off her body, before rolling her over one more time. He moved off her enough to get his pants and boxers off once more with her help. Before his hand ran up her bended leg to her thigh once more. His lips found hers as her guided himself into her. They both moaned as he slid slowly into her again, filling her inch by inch, stretching her to her very limit. Her hands were on his face once more, running though his hair as she kissed him deeply while he slowly and gently moved in and out of her. She felt herself flutter around him as she grew closer to her climax. She lifted her hips a little changing the angle he was penetrating her in, and making him go even deeper. She grabbed the hand he had on her thigh interlacing their fingers as she wrapped her legs around him, making him hit her most sensitive spot directly. She whimpered in pleasure. Peter continued moving inside her in this deeper angle, soon sending them both over the edge. He moved carefully off her to not crouch her with his weight, and snuggled up to her side instead, placing a soft kiss on her shoulder.

His fingers stroked her cheek as he reached in and kissed her again. As he pulled back he looked at the clock and let out a deep breath filled with sadness.

"I should go..." He whispered, suddenly he looked older than she had seen him in a long time, and she wondered what was troubling him. She nodded slowly.

"Yes, the kids will be up soon." She said, pushing the thought of what was on his mind and weighting him down away. He nodded and got off the bed, and moved to find his boxers and pants. She watched him as he dressed, sitting on the bed, having pulled the sheets over herself a little so she was covered, feeling an odd sort of emptiness surrounding her. However as she saw him putting on his jacket, she got up from the bed. She found her robe and snuggled into it, lacing the tie as he turned around to face her.

"I'll walk you out." She offered him with a soft smile. He nodded and opened the door. They were both careful not to make a sound as they sneaked to the front door. She opened it for him and entered the hallway with him.

"When are you going in to work?" He asked as they stopped just outside her apartment and he turned to face her.

"Around 9.30. but I thought I can make good use of being up this early and maybe make breakfast for the kids." She told him with a gentle smile, resting her head against the wall. He nodded slowly in understanding.

"Is that something you do often?" He asked looking down and away, making Alicia furrow her eyebrows.

"No, not at all... not nearly as often as I would like. That's why I should use the opportunity now." She explained softly.

"I see." he whispered.  
"So, long day?" She asked him, not completely ready to let this moment go just yet.

"I am meeting Maddie." he answered. Alicia rolled her eyes, but looked at up at him. She reached up and placed a hand on his cheek, stroking it lightly before she reached up on her tiptoes, kissing him softly. His arms went around her holding her against him for a second before she pulled back. She smiled up at him.

"Thank you for last night and this morning." She whispered, before giving him a kiss on the cheek. She waited at the door while he went to the elevator and waited for it to come up. He looked over at her and gave her a quick wave with that half sad smile on his face just before he stepped into the elevator.

She waved back, and gave him a soft smile, where after she stepped back into the apartment and closed the door. She headed right back to her bedroom and into the bathroom for a quick shower. It wasn't until later when she stood there making pancakes preparing breakfast for the kids, as she had told Peter she would, Zach was at his computer and Grace getting ready. It wasn't until that point that she realized that this morning Peter had actually made love to her, not just fucked her. Their slow morning lovemaking had been their thing in the past, something that had always made them share secret smiles and stolen kisses later on while having family breakfast. And that if she had not send Peter away a little while ago, they would be doing that once more.

She gulped, this wasn't meant to happen, it was supposed to be just sex between them, sex was easy, sex was something she could handle, that made her feel good and happy, but there was nothing "just sex" about spending the whole night together, and making slow love in the morning. Especially when a little part of her hadn't really wanted him to leave and had been close to asking him to stay for breakfast, particularly when she saw how he reacted to her comment about family breakfast with the kids.

Was she getting herself into more than she could handle? She needed to make sure it was not like this the next time she saw him, though should she really see him again if they were starting to move out of the just sex zone? The last time she thought it was okay to continue even after she got closer to the edge of that zone she had broken Will's heart because it had been only sex for her, but more for him. Was she really once more getting herself onto unsafe ground? And this time with someone she spend almost half her life with, after all it was more than 21 years since they had met and fallen in love, was it too much to expect to have casual sex with her life's partner for that long? She needed to be more careful with the lines for sure. She wondered if any of this were the reasons behind the sad smile he had given her, and if so, did he want to stop these meetings? She sure didn't hope so. She liked their secret encounters, she liked how he made her feel better and happier than she had in a long time. She loved how for the first time in a long while she felt relaxed, happy and in love with her life. And he was a huge part of the reason why.

She wondered briefly if it would be weird to call him later, though they had had these encounters lately, they didn't see or even talk to each other every day. So was it wrong to call him later and hear how he was doing? After all she knew meeting Maddie might take its toll on him.

* * *

_Post episode._

When she got home that night finally done celebrating over winning the case and helping Elsbeth out of jail, she found both kids had already gone to bed. She went to the kitchen and got herself a glass of wine and brought it with her into her bedroom. She sipped it while undressing and preparing for bed. Finally under the covers she found herself unable to fall asleep, so she turned over and reached for her phone off the bedside table. She typed up a quick text to Peter.

"Still at work?"

She waited for the reply for a few minutes, becoming slightly impatient. She hoped he was not home already and asleep.

"Almost done. How did it go with Elsbeth?" came his reply. Alicia smiled.

"Won and got her out, wanna come over.? I left the door unlocked;)" She texted back.

"I'll be there in 20 min okay?" She smiled and let out a sigh of relief.

"Perfect, see you then." She answered, then got up from bed and walked over to find another silk slip to wear for him so she was prepared and ready when he came. She put on a little bit of lipstick and started to brush her hair, smiling as she remembered Grace commenting about it a few days ago. Grace was right, she did look better, this - whatever it was - made her happy, truly and completely happy.

* * *

Much later that evening she lay completely spent on Peter's chest, this time having not even bothered putting on the nightgown again, it was too much work. She played lightly with the soft hair on his chest, running her fingers through it. He let out a deep breath slowly.

"I should go..." He whispered, his voice heavy and almost sad. She looked up at him.

"I can set the alarm clock an hour earlier." She offered, though she had a few days ago thought she should be better with those lines. But the thought of the relaxing sleep, the warmth of his body beside her, was too big, too tempting.

He met her gaze, making sure she meant it. She smiled up at him in confirmation, before she moved off him for a moment, grabbing the alarm clock and setting the time an hour and 15 min earlier than she had planned, hopping this would give them time enough and that it would also give them enough time for a repeat of last time. She crawled back over to the place she had been before. Resting her head on his chest once more.

"Are you okay?" She finally asked after a few minutes of listening to his breath and heartbeat and the soft rhythm they made.

"Yeah, just campaign issues..." he admitted with a deep sigh.

"Eli's being investigated?" She asked and felt him nod against her.

"Among other things." He answered, while his fingers ran through her hair.

"What things?" She asked and looked up at him. "Peter you can talk to me."

"I think I am racial biased and have never thought about it before, and now I made this speech at the minority rights collusion and it came out all wrong and I am now known for being racial biased, but it went viral. And some says it is good, but I did it while pissing off minorities." He admitted.

She nodded slowly.

"Peter you are not racially biased, at least not in that sense. Remember, Golden was your lawyer for most of your retrial. You had pastor Isaiah. Not that you cared much for religion but you did listen to him in some way. And you stuck with that even though Jackie preferred you didn't. Your problem is you are most comfortable with men, especially those that remind you of yourself." She explained as she kept on playing with the hair on his chest.

"Are you now calling my sexist as well?" He asked confused and a little worried. Alicia shook her head.

"No, Peter. I am calling you human. It is normal to relate to those similar to yourself the best. Remember when you ran the last time for states attorney? You related to those who had been in prison, you related to the youth and that is what you need to focus on again. Start relating to those. I meant it when I said you would be a good governor, and I would not say that if I thought you were a racist or a sexist. Peter I have never not voted for you, and I will vote for you again this time because I do believe you will be good." She looked up at him, her eyes tender and caring.

He looked at her smiling softly.

"You really believe in me. Even after everything I put you through you believe in me?" He asked surprised, almost shocked.

She smiled at him gently.

"I believe you are a great politician Peter, and I share many of your views on issues, and you have always been willing to take my advice. Which is why I know you are not sexist, and it is all about who you put your trust in and relate to. You should not hold back Peter, you can't please everyone. Maddie might be a woman and getting the minorities, I am guessing that is where this comes from. But you if you want to, when you speak, you can make everyone listen, you have made mistakes, but you have done what you can to redeem them."

She locked her eyes with his, as she continued:

"Maddie gives a perfect image no flaws and nothing, and plays on other's flaws. Kresteva has a sick kid and uses that. But Peter you are human, you have flaws. Show people those flaws and don't hide them. People like it when they can relate to others, when someone can relate to them. And they can do that with flaws Peter. It is not about you giving them a perfect family image, though I am sure Eli told you that. I know your polls shot up the last time when you told a journalist that our marriage was no one's business but ours. Show the people that side Peter, the man who went to prison to redeem his mistakes. The one who was willing to offer up the secret of our separation though it would hurt you politically to help and save me and the firm. Show that man Peter, and I have no doubt you will win."

Her words were honest and caring, and Eli would have loved it if she had said them to a journalist, instead of to Peter in the darkness of her bedroom in a post coital moment.

"I should make you my advisor instead of Eli or Jordan. Or at least ask you to go over my speeches. Alicia do you really mean that? All of what you said." He asked his voice filled with wonder and astonishment.

"Yes I mean it... Peter, I said I would help you win, and I will do that. So in case you lose we know you fought for it with everything you had and didn't hold back at all. And if you lose you will run for senator in a few years, but you won't lose if you do it like this. And I will help you with the speeches since Eli and Jordan saying different things to you seems to do more harm than good." She answered.

"You will? Alicia you are amazing... I... lo... thank you..." He answered his voice thick with emotions. She smiled at him, having not caught his almost slip up.

"Also you need to do debates with both Kresteva and Maddie. You are good in debates Peter, you are honest and emotional, people like that. So don't be scared of them." She explained gently.

"They will use those debates to raise and put focus of the issues where I am failing, where I am in trouble. Like the biased thing." He told her, his fingers running down her hair and over her back.

"Yes, they will. But it is in those you can show your strengths too, where you can show the man you truly are. Trust me on this Peter, this is what you need to do." She looked up at him, and saw him nodding though the look on his face was still one of uncertainty. She smiled at him and reached up so she could kiss him.

"Now how about I help you forget all about, minorities, racism, Maddie, Kresteva, Jordan and Eli for a while." She asked as she closed the gap between them, kissing him slowly. She felt him gulp for air in surprise of how she had changed her approach in a matter of seconds.

"Relax... this is about you... I want to do this..." she whispered in between kissing him slowly, while straddling his waist just over his erection, which she could feel was already hardening under her. She kissed him thoroughly on the lips while cupping his face in her hands, letting her fingers slide into his hair, ruffleing his dark raven locks.

She felt a weird tenderness for him in this moment, he was so troubled by the campaign and the accusations of him being biased, it was not like him at all. It had been a long time since she was this delicate and caring towards him. The time that came closest was their morning lovemaking a few days ago, but even back then it was him that went for the slow tenderness. She had followed, yes, but this was the first time ever since the scandal that she started an intimate encounter between them in this fashion. Her mouth slid away from his and down over his chin and neck while she let her hands explore his broad shoulders and arms in sweet caresses.

She let her hands, lips and tongue trace patterns all over his chest, she teasingly licked a nipple before moving to the other side and doing the same, only to bite it gently, making him let out a deep moan, before she placed a loving kiss at his chest right over his heart. She pulled back up so she could take in the sight of him. He was completely surrendered to her, heavy eyelids and damp with perspiration. The proof of his desire for her pressed against her butt.

She was burning for him and wished to have him in her, she was leaving a wet stain on his bare stomach. She moved down a little rubbing her self over his erection, making it swell even further.

"God Alicia..." He moaned, twisting his hips under her.

She looked at him smilingly, while deciding if she should keep torturing him a little more or stop. She took in his hair, a completely mess because of her fingers. She smiled and moved down a little so she was face to face with his erection. She felt his hand on her face lifting her chin to meet his eyes.

"Alicia... you don't have too..." He whispered.

"Shhsss... I know, I want to..." She answered him, before she let her tongue slip out and licked his tip gently, while she thought this might be the time to stroke his ego just a little. She looked up at him gently.

"Have I ever told you that you are so big...?" She whispered, her voice husky and laced with desire. "Huge... the biggest I ever been with... and so hard." She knew she had just told him one thing he would enjoy, she had confirmed he at least beat Will in one area with her. She lowered her head again and licked the precum from his velvet tip.

Peter gasped and moaned while gripping the sheets. Love and desire was clouding his eyes and mind. If she had seen his eyes at that moment she would have know there was nothing casual sex about this for him at all. He loved her with everything that was in him.

She licked along the side of his length before finally taking him all the way into her mouth. His hips bucked and twisted upwards, but she quickly pulled away

"Alicia..." he pleaded with her, she knew he was begging her to stop her teasing. She smiled at him sweetly and reached down and kissed him on the lips.

"Patience love." She whispered, soothing and calming him, never realizing what she had called him. But the look on Peter's face changed when he heard her words, and he smiled at it. She laced the fingers of one of her hands with his like before, she moved back down and guided him into her body, lowering herself onto him slowly. They both moaned deeply because of the intense feeling of being united. She kept still for a minute, enjoying the pleasure of their union. But as the tension grew she started to move slowly, hovering over him, while twisting her hips slowly.

His breathing was labored and ragged, telling her that he was close to the edge; she predicted with unmistakable certainty what his body needed next. She twisted her hips one more time before locking their eyes as she slid up and down his slick length, taking him all the way inside her.

She moaned and arched her back, bringing herself into an even better position, while she rode him, bringing them both closer and closer to the edge. Her inner walls were clenching around him, and a rush of arousal flooded them both, sending them over the edge, panting.

She sank down on him and into his warm embrace. His strong arms coming to rest around her waist. Their bodies were molded together in every angle and curve, from head to toe they were the closest two humans can possible be. They smiled at each other, and leaned in for another kiss. Before she placed her face back down into the nook of his neck, closing her eyes and letting sleep come.


	6. 401 The Torero and The Bull

_Okay this story was started the day after 4.01 aired but I never finished it until now it is a very weird_ _story_ _for_ _Kiki. That_ c_ame_ _from_ _her_ _telling_ _me_ _she_ _wished_ _Peter_ _had_ _pinned_ _Alicia_ _to_ _the_ _bed_ _and_ _ripped_ _the_ _red_ _suit_ _off_ _her_ _in_ _4.01... And that she couldn't understand he didn't do just that. She wanted an angry rough sex story for the two of them. I was never inspired to finish it until my other friend Randi the other day told me she wanted a story where Peter took the initiative to sex with Alicia, where he was the one coming on to her. It made my remember this. So yesterday morning I started writing more on it. Later on that day I saw Nyte Quill's amazing new story, and I was honestly unsure if I should even publish this as it is far from as good... any way that story was also based on Alicia wearing red and looking fantastic in it. At least a part of the story was. Reason why I was unsure if I should do this or not. But I had after all promised Kiki the story long ago, so I finished it. Talked to my friend Randi about my hesitation on publishing now with the other out and she said I still should as I had reviewed the other and I could make a note about it. So there we go, note you haven't read the one Nyte Quill did based on 412 you should that story was amazing.  
_

_Story is for Kiki my BFF 3 love you dear sweet girl. (Oh and can we just say AU for the record, however it is the episode tage for 4.01)  
_

_I_ _don't_ _own_ _The_ _Good_ _Wife..._

* * *

**The Torero and The Bull: aka, Peter the Bull  
**

Alicia looked up at Peter, once more trying to convince him she was handling this, that he should leave it alone. She also knew already it was a lost cause, which was the reason she had avoided telling him about Zach getting arrested in the first place. She knew he would react badly, that he wouldn't take this lightly. He might not always have been the best husband, but was a good father and she knew he loved their kids so much. She could see the anger on his face, as she once more told him she didn't want to make anything worse.

"Our son is being prosecuted because of some agenda against me, Alicia." He told her, his voice was hard, and she knew if she didn't calm him down he would run out of the apartment and do something stupid the next moment, like threatening someone. So she turned her voice harder since calm was clearly not working.

"You will make things worse Peter." She hoped the level of her voice would cut through to him. But it didn't, instead it turned his already boiling anger against her as he stepped closer to her once more, a lot closer actually, so close they were almost touching.

"He is threatening our son, Alicia and you just expect me to sit still and let you handle it, I know you seem to have gotten used to men who sit back and don't fight against what they are facing, but I am not like you sweet little Will." Okay maybe it had not been a good idea at all to change from trying to calm him to hoping to get his anger out while he was here, because she felt her own anger starting to boil with his comment.

"Will fought, and the only reason why he didn't fight against the board's decision was because he was trying to protect the firm." Peter let out a hoarse laughter. "Well in that case he sure did well... Didn't you just end up in bankruptcy court, which is largely related to people being less appreciating that he is on suspension. But I guess that doesn't matter to you because everything he does is so amazing, he can do nothing wrong according to you." Peter was fuming with anger now. And he was not the only one.

"Well at least he didn't cheat on me with a hooker 18 times, and later on lied to me for years never telling me he had also fucked my best friend." She sneered at him, to hell with this, if Peter wanted to do something stupid, he could do it, she didn't care, she just wanted him gone now.

She started to walk past him over to the bedroom door wanting to go out and get to the kids and Eli, and mostly away from Peter. How could she even have been so stupid to have been thinking mere 10 minutes ago that there might be hope for them still, that maybe they really could work things out. She'd really been hoping that was the case, and wanting that to be the truth. Something she had hinted when she gave him that light teasing smile followed by asking him nervously if _they were_, in relation to them working on it, and what more was she had hoped he meant it and they really were working on it.

That he would be enthusiastic and interested in doing just that. Truthfully she was a little hurt he had not seemed happier and more exicted, that he had been so calm and grounded. That he had not said he wanted them to be working on it, that he really wanted it and that they should consider if they could live together again. Now however she thought he could go to hell for all she cared. Why did he always say those things? and why did they always fight like this? This proved it was hopeless between them, just one more time.

As she was about to open the door she felt Peter's hand close over hers on the door knob. For a moment they both stood like frozen. She barely allowed herself to breath in shock. She could feel his warm breath on her neck, that was how close he was standing to her, and annoyingly enough it send shivers down her back.

She let out a deep breath of relief when he let go of her hand once more and she was about to turn the door knob again, hoping to get away from Peter, escape him and the danger of what might happen if they stayed. However the next minute he had turned the lock on the door, and swirled her around to face him. She had forgotten how strong and fast he could be when he wanted something or rather someone, in this case.

She looked up at him again, her eyes still full of anger and hate speaking the words _"__Don't you dare!" _loud and clear but he didn't care one bit it seemed as he leaned forward. She tried to hold up her hands to stop his progression but it didn't work. She knew what he was doing the moment he had locked the door, and her heart was thundering so loud he had to hear it, but it looked like that didn't matter to him it at all.

His lips still met hers in a hard and passionate kiss. It was bruising and his lips and tongue forced her mouth open so he could invade every corner. She was conflicted a part of her wanted to push him away to force him of her, like her head was telling her to, but her heart... her heart begged her not to stop it but to go with the flow, and she did for once she listened to her heart, for the first time since ending things with Will she listened to her heart. So instead off pushing him away, she pulled him closer, because a part of her had missed this, _god how has she missed it_. Missed having all of his power and passion focused on her alone.

He was kissing her like he had when she was still in law school and they had just met and had fought about everything you could possible imagine, but it was like foreplay to them back then and apparently now it seemed. She felt how his arms wrapped around her waist pulling her closer, pressing her against his hard chest molding her breasts against him. She felt warm all over and her lower abdomen was tightening in anticipation already. She was so focused on his bruising kiss and his hands tracing her back and gripping her ass and thighs, pulling her skirt up a little, that she hadn't discovered how he had moved them around until she felt herself being pressed down on what she presumed was her bed.

He was on top of her right away pressing her down, still kissing her like he didn't intend on stopping ever again.

His fingers found the jacket, opening it with haste and ripping the red clothes off her.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me wearing that?" He mumbled against the side of her throat he was now sucking on, probably leaving a mark that she would need to cover up for days. The next second she gasped as he had sunken his teeth into her and bit her on the neck leaving a real mark. She cursed him in her mind she would need to wear scarves for a week now at least, and what would the kids say. His fingers hand found her side zipper and was pulling it down, so he could rip the skirt of her.

"And you are a good girl I see... wearing thigh highs, I like that." he growled into her skin as his fingers found the lace between her legs rubbing her lightly on top of it, making her moan.

"You gotta keep quiet, the kids are right outside and so is Eli." He told her while ripping the red lace tong off her with a hard snap. He held it up for a moment before stuffing them into his suit jacket.

"You better buy me another pair." She commented annoyed, she loved her new red underwear Peter had just destroyed with a snap of his fingers like he once destroyed thier perfectly built life. Both things because of his passion, lust and desire.

"You shouldn't bother with panties when wearing that little red suit. It is a waste of time, when you look like this so hot and sexy, teasing me with what I haven't been allowed to touch for so long. And then smiling oh so sweetly with that red lipstick, batting your eyelids. You are a tease Alicia. Making me want you so much and then you smile at me sweet and perfect and I know I won't be getting anything from you but baby now I will. Now I will enjoy that hot little body of yours." He told her.

He was kissing her lips again, still bruising but not as hard as before because he knew she was not going anywhere. She was bucking her hips and twisting under him in pleasure, _dear god what was he doing to her?_

"But just to be good I will buy you a new pair for every day of the week." He smirked at her as he pulled back from the kiss. She sighed, she had forgotten how good he felt, the next moment she moaned loudly, forgetting where she was as Peter thrust two fingers into her hard. He started to circle her clit with his thumb, rubbing her juices over her and making her sensitive skin even slicker. She couldn't remember the last time she was this turned on and she hated and loved it at the same time. Peter should not be able to make her feel like this by his manhandling her body, he should not be able to turn her on this much, by his wicked words and teasing touch, but he did, she was on fire, and burning with need.

His fingers twisting and turning in her, going deeper and stroking her g-spot. _God was he trying to kill her?_ By turning her body into so melting mush that at the same time was burning like fire. Fire, yes her skin was on fire. She was half naked on her bed with Peter who was still fully clothed on top of her, and she felt like she was burning up ready to explode. He rubbed her g-spot yet again making her hips buckle as she let out another moan.

"Alicia, you need to keep that pretty mouth of yours shut, unless you want to scar the kids for life." He told her, adding a third finger, stretching her a little more and driving her a slightly closer to the edge.

"I was not the one starting this... You could just get the fuck off me, if you don't want the kids to hear us." She hissed at him, the anger she had felt for him blushing up again.

"Oh, you want me to stop? As you wish, Hon." He pulled his fingers out of her, making Alicia whimper because of the loss. He rolled off her, smirking, while Alicia felt like she might very possible kill him. Was he really going to stop now? Fine, two could play that game. But she sure wanted him gone right now, if he really intended on stopping he better get the h*ll out of her home soon. She gave him a fake smile as she got up from her bed and found her red skirt and put it back on, slowly bending forward, giving Peter a look of her behind. She had just zipped it up when his hands locked on her waist again, pulling her back on the bed.

"Didn't I tell you what I felt about you wearing that color, Dear." He hissed at her, pushing the skirt up around her waist and angrily ripping the back lace chemise she had worn under it, in two with his bare hands, followed by the sound of him opening his pants and pushing them down. He snapped open the front closer on her bra, and his mouth found her hardened nipple and bit into it at the same time as he pushed hard into her body.

She was lucky he had been smart enough to place a hand over her mouth as she let out a deep high pitched moan because of the intense feeling it gave her. He started to move in and out of her in a fast pace, moving his hand off her mouth so he could steady her hips and make sure to go as deep as possible. She knew, she needed to keep quiet as he had told her and bit into her lip hard, before clamping her own hand over her mouth, to make sure she would not scar her kids for life, while Peter fucked her brains out.

"Peter... Alicia!" Eli knocked on the door. Making Peter pause immediately. Locking eyes with her and taking in her reaction. She moved her hand off her mouth and whispered in a low silky voice.

"I swear to God Peter, if you stop right now I will divorce you tomorrow." And she meant every word of it. She might very well kill him if he stopped. He nodded slowly.

"Don't worry Eli we are just discussing some arrangements regarding the campaign including next weekend in Springfield if Alicia will join me or not." He called out, as he started moving slowly inside her again, long deliberate thrusts of his hips, going deeper into her than before.

She clamped her hand over her mouth again, as she let out a deep moan. She locked eyes with him again. Her eyes telling him she didn't want slow at all. He nodded and the next moment he had grabbed both of her hips with his hands, holding her so hard she had no doubt he would leave bruises on her skin. And more than that as he pulled back out she started to fear he was pulling out of her for real, she was ready to curse him if he dared leave her now. However he pulled her to the edge of the bed, so he could stand up on the floor. He lifted her so her butt was free of the bed and she wrapped her legs around him. This change made him go deeper than ever in her and she was soon at the edge, he hit her most sensitive spot with every hard fast deep stroke. She was twisting on the bed one of her hands still clamped over her mouth to keep their encounter secret and quiet, the other was gripping the bed sheets hard. She clenched down on him like a fist as she came, just seconds before she felt his hot release coating her walls.

He collapsed on the bed beside her, panting hard. She laid still for a few seconds before turning to face him. He looked at her intensely.

"Do you hate me?" He asked worriedly. She shook her head surprised to find that she truly didn't hate him not even in this moment when she shortly before had been terrible angry with him. She was not sure what she really felt for him. The odd mixture of hurt, love, passion, desire, anger and many other emotions she felt for him made sure of that. But she didn't hate him, that she knew for sure.

"I practically just forced my self on you Alicia, I don't know what came over me." He whispered, as his hand found her cheek. "I am sorry... I should not have done that." She looked at him and reached up and found his cheek cupping it with her own hand.

"You did a lot of things Peter, but you never forced me to sex not now, not ever. I might be pissed with you. I might dislike you strongly, but I never once hated you or felt as you were doing things in _this_ aspect against my will. Peter I knew you would stop the moment I told you to, and I have always known that. If I really wanted you to stop any sexually advanges you would do so. But I didn't, instead I kissed you back. I told you not to stop. You didn't force yourself on me at all. In fact you probably just gave me the best sex I ever had, though I have no doubt I will be sore tomorrow." She told him firmly.

"I am still sorry Alicia... no matter what... what I just did to you was wrong and I acted like a beast in heat." He mumbled.

"Well I guess you are my beast, then... No honestly Peter, I hate to say it, because of how it might make me seem weak, loving getting manhandeled like that... but I loved every second of it." She admitted softly, turning her gaze downwards, almost blushing.

"Are you two done talking soon?" Eli sounded through the door. Pulling them back to reality. Peter let out a deep breath.

"What do we do now?" he asked her worriedly.

"I get dressed. Though I have no idea how to explain my ruined suit." She lifted an eyebrow at him. "Then we go out. We send Eli home, you go home with the kids, and you call me later and we talk." She answered.

"Just like that? We talk?" He asked.

"Yes we talk late. Peter this... this whatever it was, does not mean I am ready to move back in with you... I don't say I won't be in some time... An hour ago I was going over the idea and I don't mind it as much as I would some months ago year even a couple of weeks ago. I told the reporter I slept over sometimes. And maybe that is a start. We have dinner from time to time, and we talk and see where this goes. We obvious have a lot between us left both good and bad. We have issues we need to work through like your jealousy, which led us to this right now, and my lack of trust in you. But I do care about you Peter, and we now know we still work very well together sexually speaking, and we already know we work well together professionally. So we talk and see where we are going." She told him gently. He nodded.

"I want you back Alicia. I should have said that before when you asked if we were working on it. I want to work on it. There is nothing I want more than to make it work with you. I love you." He told her softly, leaning in and kissing her softly. Unlike the other ones he had given her, this was sweet and gentle.

He pulled back and looked at her, before he stood up. Holding out his hand and helping her up from the bed. She took the offered hand and leaned in and kissed him softly once more time.

"We'll make it work Peter, it will take time but I know we will make it work over the next couple of months. But we need to talk." She told him firmly before pulling back. "And no more rough sex before we talk about the issues." She told him with her back turned.

"In that case please stop wearing red for a while. You don't have any idea what you do to me in those red suits or dresses." He mumbled. She glanced at him, and nodded.

"Understood, you act like a bull when you see red. Should I start calling you Peter the Bull? I wonder what the media would say to that name? Instead of the hammer, you can now be know as the Bull." She teased.

"It only comes over me when I see you wearing red." He confirmed with a smile, grabbing her hand and pulling her closer and leaning in to give her a kiss. One that was sweet, tender and teasing "Only you, so no more red, my very own Torero," He whispered against her lips before stealing yet another taste of her lips.


	7. 414: All or Nothing

_Story set after 4x14 and a little while after I would think... also if you have not watched or heard about episode this will have spoilers..._

_I thank Marysunshine for encouraging me to do this one and to post it :-) _

_And thank you to Steffi who beta'ed it for me:-) _

_Don't own the good wife or that kiss would not have happened for sure.  
_

* * *

**All Or Nothing  
**

He was sitting on the couch staring into the fireplace as he heard the knock on the door. She had texted him an hour ago, asking him if she could come over. He knew all too well what that meant. Sex, quick emotionless sex, that was Alicia's style these days. He had thought they were getting closer but after what he had seen on those pictures tonight he knew it wasn't the case at all.

"Peter?" She called out for him, and he could hear her heels move through the hallway.

"In here..." He answered her. He could hear her steps moving closer.

"Hey what are you doing?" She asked. He could hear her removing something, he guessed it was her coat, and then the sound of her heels disappeared he knew she had taken them off.

"Night cap?" She asked and he finally looked up, finding her standing there beside him. She smiled at him flirting and tempting him. He shook his head at her attempts _no more,_ he couldn't do it any longer. Especially knowing what he knew now. That had sealed it completely for him. He couldn't be her play-thing in the drama she seemed to have going on any longer. 'Working on their marriage' _what a cruel joke that was now._

"Yeah..." he said as he got up from the couch, walking over to the fireplace, resting his hand on the shelf over it.

"Peter is something wrong?" She asked him, her voice sounding worried and confused. A small part of him was tempted to forget his plan, and just turn around and take his frustration over this out on her with sex, but no he couldn't, not this time.

Instead he let out a dry laughter, almost cruel, _dark_.

"Peter? What is wrong? Can I make it better?" He could hear the sound of her shedding her suit jacket, and the sound of her unbuttoning her shirt.

"Stop it Alicia... can you for one second drop the act?" His voice was angry, hurt and hard now.

"What... what do... you mean? Peter, are you angry with me?" Her voice was shaky and showed a hint of shock and hurt.

"Does your other lover know you come here too?" He hissed out, still looking into the flames.

"What...? Other lover? Peter what are you talking about?" She sounded more confused now.

"Well I shouldn't need to tell you, should I?" He sneered.

"Really Peter? Really? I thought we had gotten past that, your unreasonable jealousy..." Now she sounded as if she was getting angry too.

He laughed again, the same dry and cruel laughter. He really wished she would leave him to his own sadness and pain now instead of rubbing it in his face.

"Funny thing _darling_ so did I..." He whispered back at her in a hash tone.

"Well okay, now I am completely confused. If we are past that... why bring it up now? Why are you so angry with me?"

_Damn, she was good at playing her game _- he used to be able to tell when she was lying and thought he was again, but clearly that was just another cruel joke that was on him. He hadn't for such a long time understood what he had done to her. How badly he had hurt her by sleeping with Amber and Kalinda, breaking her trust and heart, but now he got it. Oh how he understood it now. He had been a fool, an idiot, a beast by doing that to her, and extensional he was the one who had pushed her straight into _Fucking Will Gardener's _arms. But still, that Alicia could be this cruel taking a revenge on him like this made him sick to his stomach.

"How long has this been going on? Did you ever even stop sleeping with him like you said under oath...?" He whispered, his voice as cold as ice. The tension and silence that followed was so thick that you would have needed a sharp knife to cut through it.

"What do you mean? How can you even believe that? And why do you even know what I said under oath?" Alicia whispered back, her tone now as cold as his.

"You knew I would read it..." He said not even bothering to explain further.

"Yeah I guess... but Peter, if you did and if you know me at all, you also know it only began when we separated and I ended it close to a year before the two of us began anything again... So why are you suddenly this angry with me?" She was a mix of confused, hurt and angry.

"Ugh do you really need to ask? When did you start fooling around with him again? How long have you gone from me to him or the other way around?" He asked, his voice laced with the anger and hurt boiling in his blood, as he turned to face her. The look on her face was one of shock and hurt.

"Peter how can you even think... I didn't... I wouldn't..." She whispered. For a few seconds he wondered if she was telling the truth, but how could that be when he had seen the pictures of her in heavy embrace with Will in her office, and they had been date and time stamped. No she was lying, she had to be.

"Don't bother Alicia... I know about it... I have seen the pictures of it." He hissed and closed his eyes for a second, _bad idea_ he got a flash of the picture of her wrapped around Will.

"Peter what pictures are you talking about... I haven't done any..." She broke off, and shock and confusion was replaced with realization and understanding.

"Peter I don't know how you got your hands on that but it is not what you think... I didn't do that..." She broke off and from seeming like she was apologizing and explaining she turned to anger: "Also if I did, what right do you have to judge, you were the one that cheated on me with a hooker and Kalinda."

He took a step back a little shocked over her reaction, but quickly got a hold of himself again.

"So that is what this is about revenge? Payback? Wow you really have changed..." He suddenly felt extremely tired and just wished they could end this and he could be left alone and wallow in his self pity. He saw her taking a couple of deep breaths.

"We kissed Peter... once... nothing else nothing more... he kissed me... I returned it, yes... for a few seconds and that was it... for some reason you have gotten a picture of that..." She explained.

Peter nodded slowly, he wasn't sure if he believed her or not, but one thing was sure he couldn't go on like this any longer.

"The pictures won't get out. Eli stopped that. Are you in love with him? Is this why you only agree to this shallow form for a relationship with me?" He asked her, but all the fight had been taken out of him.

"What? No Peter... We kissed once that is all! I promise! She argued again. He nodded slowly.

"Maybe, but the truth is Alicia, you just don't run around kissing your ex-lover without it meaning something... and I can't do this anymore I really can't... especially now... I can't be with you wondering if you would rather be with him, if you are kissing him or having sex with him in your office. I now get how you must have felt with me all the time. But Alicia, I know what I want... I want you! Just you... every day, every night, you are all I see and need." He explained softly, his gaze wavering and looking back into the flames.

"Peter... I don't know what to say..." She whispered softly. He nodded, he hadn't expected anything else really, still he felt close to tears, wanting to let go of all the emotions, but he wouldn't, he couldn't let her see that. So he hardened his voice.

"I do... I want you to leave, Alicia. And I don't want you to come back until you know what you want... because I can't do this back and forth with you anymore."

He heard her draw in a sharp breath.

"What are you saying Peter?" She whispered so soft he almost didn't hear it.

"I want it all with you again Alicia and if you can't do that. If you can't give me that. If Will is somehow in your heart. I can't be with you. I need you to go and make you up your mind. For me, for Will, for the kids sake. I hate to say it, but I'm even feeling a little bad for Gardner if you are doing the same to him as you are to me." He told her, his voice harsh and cold. He didn't get an answer this time, instead he heard her picking up her things once more. Heard the sound of her heels she must have put back on. She moved closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"For what it is worth Peter... it really was just a kiss..." She whispered softly.

"Maybe Alicia... but it doesn't change the truth. I can't be your dirty affair or wonder where you heart is. I love you, I love you so much... But I can't do this anymore." He answered, not able to look at her as tears were forming in his eyes and he didn't want her to see those.

"I understand..." She whispered, and gave his shoulder a soft squeeze, before she moved away from him. He could hear the sound of her heels growing weaker and moving away until he heard the front door being opened and closed again. He stared it to the flames, as the first tear fell. He knew he might never be with her again after this.

Alicia stopped on the doormat, looking down on the word _home._ Suddenly she felt like she was about to cry, she turned her head, wondering if she should go back in. But she couldn't, Peter didn't want her with him until she had made up her mind. She turned her head back around and looked over at her car.

What had she done? She hadn't even known Peter was hurting this much, and if he was, Will had to be as well... she knew that... that was why she had said she was sorry... Because she was sorry and like she had said what was she not sorry about: Will, Cary, Kalinda, it felt like she had lost them all a little more in just a matter of days, and now the one she counted on having still, Peter.

She had very likely lost Peter as well, unless she was ready to move back in with him and be is wife in every sense of the word again, and she wasn't sure she could do that. It seemed there really was no way to have it all.

She gulped, she knew he was right, she needed to make up her mind and decide what she wanted and accept what that meant and go through with it. She already knew it didn't mean Will, when she looked forward she couldn't see a future with him, at least not one that made any sense other than as a fleeting dream... but could she with Peter? She wasn't sure but knew she now needed to figure it out.

Peter wanted all or nothing, and she wasn't ready to say either without closer thought. _Nothing_ would break her heart and she couldn't even imagine giving him up completely but _all,_ she wasn't sure she could do that either... but she guessed she needed to search her heart and find out.


	8. 415 Edge of The Ocean

_Okay you get a cute sweet romantic episode addition this time after all AP cuteness... in the episode..._

_I don't the good wife or this would be included in the show instead of the elevator thing...Also don't own the song. _

_The story is dedicated to Randi... and truthfully most of what happens in it is her ideas... so thank you for that and thank you to the rest of my AP family for their support and help... Also the resturant in the story is one of the Obama's favorites and thank you to kiki for finding that information to me._

* * *

**Edge of The Ocean **

_Ohhh, we can begin again.  
Shed our skin, let the sun shine in.  
At the edge of the ocean  
We can start over again. _

She played with the hem of her skirt sitting there in the car beside him. She was nervous, she had been surprised to realize he really was asking her out to dinner, on a _date. _A date, so far their thing they had kept going for months now didn't consist of dating. Sure, a few times they had had dinner together, but it had really only been a quick bite to eat and didn't qualify as a date, where she dressed up for it or had him pick her up, and it was usually in connection to her dropping by the trailer for their _meetings_, not like this preplanned dinner invitation where he had ordered a table and she was dressed up nicely. The kids had even asked where she was going, she had felt a little bad lying to them and saying dinner with someone from work. But she was still not ready to tell them about her and Peter, but maybe if tonight went well she would reconsider that. But even if she had wanted to tell them she couldn't tonight since she had Owen stay with them through the night, and she didn't want to get into her and Peter's relationship with Owen.

She glanced over at Peter, he seemed tense too, they really were moving into new territory with this dating thing. But maybe it was good, sure she was nervous, scared actually, but yet she felt happy and excited. She had been tense when he asked her and not completely sure if she should accept, and a little unsure at the same time if he really was asking her on a date. But the moment he tried to say he wasn't she had felt disappointed and kind of sad, and when he agreed it was indeed a date he wanted she felt happy, more than happy actually, excited. She had been feeling awkward first after the kiss with Will and then the elevator ride down, with their tension. She couldn't say there was nothing there, because there was, however it wasn't more than attraction on her part. She didn't see anything else between them and she knew he did. She felt sad because of how complicated it was, but she really didn't see anything beside hotel-rooms and work with Will trying to fit him into her real life was impossible. Her real life including everyone knowing including her kids, and she couldn't see it, she didn't feel it was enough for just him to want it. She had never really wanted him to take her on a date, at least not since law-school. Sure she had agreed to dinner that time some years ago, but it was different it was dinner she made sure not to call it a date, after all she was still married and she really didn't think of it as a date. This with Peter she was the one to ask if he really meant it, and now here she was, high heels, silk dress low cut but not slutty. She studied his profile speculating on what she could do to break the silence.

"Did you call Eli?" She settled on, that would get them talking, and it was the same subject he had escaped to earlier the same day.

"No... not yet... I... don't know... I will do it... I just... It is hard..." He finally settled on, as she looked out of the window she saw where they were as he drove into the parking building. Her eyebrows rose in surprise, Spiaggia he had taken her here to the upscale place on such a short notice. This she hadn't expected. Not at all actually.

He got out of the car and she waited patiently for him to come to her side and help her out. She took his hand as she stepped out, lacing their fingers, while walking through the parking lot and to the elevator riding it up to the restaurant. He carefully guided her inside the exclusive place. She smiled as he said his name and that he had ordered a table for them. The host guided them deeper into the place and over to the windows. How had he been able to make this happen within hours? She had no idea, especially getting them a window table that wasn't one in the front, but rather deeper in where they wouldn't be disturbed as easily. If she has still been in doubts this was a date or not, she couldn't be now. He had done everything to make it special, big and intimate at the same time. She smiled at him as he pulled out the chair for her, not even giving the host the chance to do that. She kept their eyes locked as he took the seat in front of her, while the host asked if everything was as they pleased, and Peter nodded, making her step away and leaving the to the waiter having joined them. He passed them their menus, before he asked if they wanted something to drink. Peter took the wine card and looked over at Alicia.

"Would you like red or white?" She gave him a gentle smile, no words needed as answer, and he knew that too as he nodded and opened the card looking over it for some time while she started to study her menu deciding on what she would like as a starter settling on the scallops quickly, it had been a long time since she had seafood of any kind. She started to look through the main courses, not sure if she wanted pasta or not. She heard how Peter had settled on ordering them a Chardonnay from 2008 Querciabella, she thought the name was. Her eyes rested on the pasta with lobster, she liked the depiction, and she really was in the mood for seafood. She knew Peter would want a steak for the main course and considered if she should order meat instead, since Peter's choice would mean they would be having red wine as well.

"Have you decided what you are ordering?" Peter asked her, making her look up.

"Would you like me to go get the wine while you are deciding? And come back and take the rest of your orders?" The waiter asked them.

"Yes please..." Peter told him and he left them alone.

"Umm I would like the scallops first. But I was actually considering ordering the spaghetti with lobster but I am assume you want steak or something, that would demand red wine." She answered him, smiling gently.

"Yeah I think so... but order the lobster... I will just get a half bottle of red, I do have to drive home, and it wouldn't look well if I got pulled over and tested positive for drunk driving... though I am sure Maddie would have a field day." he joked with her, making her laugh.

"I hope you know I would never let you drive if I thought you had too much." She answered him gently.

"Yeah I do." He winked at her teasingly just as the waiter came back with the white wine. Holding it out for Peter to see before opening it, and purring some in his glass for a quick taste Peter tasted it and told the waiter it was good. Alicia noticed how Peter quickly looked over his menu. He was never taking long to order, and he never had. She nodded at the waiter offering her some of the white wine. After having filled up both of their glasses he asked if they were ready to order.

"Yes, please. I would like the Cappesant a dorat a con funghi e Pagaliolaia for starter and the tagliolini neri con astice as my main course." She told him with a smile, handing back her menu.

"And you Sir?" He turned to Peter.

"I would like the caviar thing... and the steak." He answered.

"The wagyu or the other?" The waiter asked, making Peter take a quick look in his menu once more.

"The other... please. And can I have a the ½ bottle of Barolo, the one form 2005. And some water please." He ordered.

"Still or sparkling?" She exchanged another glance with Peter, before he answered.

"Sparkling please." He told her as he handed his own menu back, and waiter leaving them to their own once more.

"So shall we?" He motioned for their glasses picking up his own and holding it up, waiting for her. She picked up her own and held it out.

"So what are we toasting to?" She asked looking him in the eyes.

"To you making partner?" he offered. She hadn't thought that would be his response and she knew, they were not really out because of that, but he was giving her one more out. It was sweet and she was grateful for it. But she had come here knowing it wasn't just about something like that.

She smiled at him and nodded.

"To second chances. To changes in our lives." She offered, it was the best she could give him, the biggest she could say at the moment, but it was what he needed as his eyes and face light up, like a child at Christmas.

The glasses met, the soft sound of crystal clinging, and she took a sip of the white wine. Pleased with Peter's choice of wine, she smiled even more.

"Did you like it?" He asked her, and she nodded.

"It is amazing. A Chardonnay?" She asked. And he nodded.

"Yes, a Tuscan one. A Batàr!" He admitted, looking a bit unsure, and she knew immediately why, she smiled and reached over the table placing her hand on his arm, in comfort.

"It is a good wine. A good choice." She whispered, telling him she didn't mind. And she didn't it really was a sweet gesture to chose not only the label of wine they'd had to dinner the night of their first date. He had taken her to some Italian place after the game, when he had realized his choice of date hadn't been the best, so he had made it up though he had never needed to, she had liked the date because she was with him. However it was a Tuscan wine. Tuscany where they had their honeymoon. He looked into her eyes deeply, seeking answers. She smiled and nodded, confirming she meant it. That she really was alright with it.

"We always talked about how we would like to come back to Tuscany someday... but we never did... we went to Rome, Venice but never to Florence or any other place in Tuscany. I still should have taken you back there." He admitted, moving her hand off his arm and taking it between his palms instead. Holding it while looking deeply into her eyes. She felt like he was almost trying to look into her very soul.

"Maybe but I loved all of our trips, Europe or elsewhere. Even those trips up to the lakes, camping with the kids and you know how I feel about sleeping on the ground in a tent." She teased him gently, but half to keep herself from blushing as well.

"I still wish I had taken you back there, and wish I will someday get a chance to do so..." He added. She knew she was blushing now and her eyelids fluttered down not able to stand the intensity in his eyes.

"Alicia..." He whispered, and she knew he would have said more if they hadn't been interrupted by the waiter bring over their starters. She pulled her hand out from Peter's so their plats could be placed on the table. She took a sip of her water, she hadn't even noticed the waiter had brought over.

They were left alone, with their dinner and a weird silence hanging there, but she brought it around by asking him what subjects he thought would be covered in debate with Maddie. And that kept their conversation going.

"How are the scallops?" He asked her as she took a sip of her wine a few minutes later.

"Amazing would you like to try?" She asked, and he nodded.

"Sure..." She found one and placed it along with a bit of the mushrooms and basil on her fork, before holding her hand under it as she reached over so could take it from her.

"Delicious..." he agreed and she smiled.

"Very..."

"Would you like to try the caviar?" he asked her gently and she nodded.

He fed it to her like she had with him, except that he took the chance to run his fingers over her cheek in a sweet caress. He had only just pull his hand back when she was blinded by the blitz from a camera. Shaking her out of the little world of their own she had felt they were in.

She opened her eyes and could see Peter felt the same.

"So Mr. Florrick any scoop on your debate with Maddie the day after tomorrow? How are your chances of winning?"

Someone right beside her suddenly asked. She looked over and was met by a woman, clearly a reporter.

"I'm sorry, my wife and I are having dinner right now but if you'd like to call my campaign office tomorrow I'd be happy to comment then." Peter answered, politely brushing the woman off.

"I see... isn't this the first time you and your wife had been seen in such an intimate setting in public, in a very long time? Does this mean the separation is no longer a factor?" The woman asked him. Peter glanced over at Alicia meeting her eyes before answering.

"I'm sorry, I won't discuss my private life with anyone else than my wife but again you can reach me at my campaign office tomorrow if you have any other questions." Peter, answered before Alicia even got the chance to think it through.

Alicia, finally able to think straight again reached over the table once more, placing a hand on his, lacing their fingers and giving it a gentle squeeze. She knew why he was doing it, trying to avoid putting extra pressure on her with the press finding out, and she found it sweet. But she knew they would write something anyway no matter what now they had seen them.

"It's okay Peter..." She told him gently before turning to the reporter.

"If we confirm and give you something, will you write it in a positive way, and leave us alone after?" She asked.

"Alicia..." Peter protested, but the reporter had nodded already.

"A picture included?" She asked, and Alicia nodded.

"Sure..." She answered, knowing this would help Peter a little, and might very well need it a lot after the debate if he kept up not calling Eli and listening to Jordan.

"Okay that is a deal then!" the reporter accepted.

"Yes we are on a date. I had scallops for starter and Peter had caviar. For main course he will be having a rip eye steak while I will be having spaghetti with lobster. Our separation is private, but we decided to try and work on our marriage and that includes dating to see if we still got the spark." She looked at Peter while saying the last winking at him with a sweet smile adorning her lips. She gave up to the reporter that scripted it down.

"Is this the first time or?" She asked Alicia. Alicia felt Peter's hand squeeze hers and, she gave it a light squeeze back and nodded at the reporter.

"Thank you. Mrs. Florrick, enjoy the rest of your date then." She winked at Alicia, before she took the picture of them with their hands still laced, and finally leaving them with a smile.

"You didn't need to do that Alicia. We could have stopped it." Peter told her softly.

"I know, but this was easier. And it is okay really Peter. I appreciate you are trying to protect me, but I knew we would risk getting caught when we went out like this. I was prepared it could happen. Still, thank you." She explained softly.

"What about the kids?" he brought up.

"I guess I will explain we went out and it is a part in seeing if we can make it work. It is the truth after all." She smiled at him and gave his hand a little squeeze again, before pulling it back so she could finish her starter. Peter still looked a little shock, but he smiled at her. Clearly happy with her answers.

* * *

The rest of the dinner passed without any interruptions and they had a great dialogue going. His campaign, her work, her troubles with her new role in the firm, how she found it hard cutting the hours of the others, and hated doing so. Peter was a great listener unlike most others she talked to these days, he didn't judge or anything like that he actually had advices and tried to help her with what to do. They also talked about the kids, and what to do with their spring break coming up.

"Would you like to look at the menu for some dessert or coffee?" The waiter was suddenly back beside them.

"Yes please..." Peter nodded and he left to get the menus for them once more.

"I really can't eat anything else... Peter... I am full." She told him gently.

"I hear they have an excellent dark chocolate brioche..." he told her with a smile. "And I know how much you love that..."

Alicia hated it but he was right, but there was no way she could allow herself to eat dessert now as well.

"If I eat that now... there is no way I am ever getting out of this dress without destroying it." She argued.

She took in how Peter opened his mouth to answer but quickly shut it again. She took in how he quickly looked away almost embarrassed for a second, she couldn't figure out why, but when he looked back at her with heat in his eyes, she knew exactly what he had been about to say. The thought making her blush and look down.

She felt his hand take one of hers again stroking it lightly.

"You are perfect the way you are. And you still would be even if you enjoyed a little chocolate... You would still look perfect in my eyes no matter what." He told her gently, making her look up. She nodded slowly, feeling warm all over because of the way he looked at her in that moment, with heat, longing, desire and love.

They were pulled from their moment by the waiter coughing lightly bringing them out of their bubble.

He handed them their dessert menus.

"Anything else you would like?" he asked Peter, but Alicia caught how he looked over at her. _Was he checking her out?"_She was in no doubt that he had checked her out when she heard how cold Peter's voice sounded when he told him no. And he looked over at her once more asking if she would like coffee or tea or anything.

"No thanks... not right now..." She answered, and looked back at Peter, reaching over and touching him again. Making sure to show the waiter her ring in the process.

"Calm down. He was hardly more than a child." She told Peter gently, but he still growled a little, before nodding.

"So what would you like for dessert?" he asked her instead.

"I already told you I am not having any. Or I won't fit into my dresses." She told him gently with a light smile.

"What about splitting one then you won't really say no to some dark chocolate brioche would you?" he asked her gently.

She considered it for a moment, the description really did sound delicious and very tempting.

"Plus Alicia I always make you cakes or dessert for celebrations and the likes but you haven't gotten one this time or did the kids make you one?" She almost rolled her eyes at that comment.

"No they didn't thank god. I fear it would still be just as bad as in the past... yours were at least baked and edible. Remember the cookies Grace had made in school?" Alicia shuddered just from the memory.

"Yeah you were sick for days after, and we had to tell Grace it was a stomach flu you had passed onto her and Zach. Because we couldn't tell her she had managed to give you all salmonella poisoning in a minor form." He laughed. "They haven't gotten better at cooking?" He asked.

"Do you ever let them in the kitchen? Because I don't... at least not for anything other than helping making salad or something like that. " She answered.

"Well Zach preheated a frozen dinner dish for us last weekend." he admitted.

"and?" She asked.

"It was burnt outside and still frozen in the middle... yeah you are right..." He admitted, while she started to laugh because of what he had just said.

"Exactly why I am happy they didn't make me one. Yours at least never made me ill or something like that..." She smiled at him. "You actually were really great at cooking breakfast..." She admitted, smiling softly because of the memory of some of the times he had brought her breakfast in bed.

"Yeah I was pretty good at that wasn't I?" He smiled back cockily.

"Don't let it go to your head. But yes you were." She answered.

"Maybe I should cook you that again sometime then." He whispered back, and their eyes locked again.

"Maybe you should." She said with a smile, they were no longer really talking about food but about where they were going, and for once that was alright with her.

* * *

They had split the dessert as he had come up with, of course he had known her weakness for chocolate so it had ended with her eating most of it. After that they had coffee. They didn't talk more about where they were going, the words they had said earlier had been enough for now, and she was grateful he understood and respected that. Now they were in the car him driving her home. They were almost there by now. She had spent the most of the ride wishing he would reach over and take her hand like he would in the past. The thought of him actually doing that made her both scared and excited. And yet she wanted it. She had folded her own hands, too scared she would reach over and take his if she didn't and she couldn't do that. She couldn't be the one to do that now. Yes she had reached for him more than once during dinner but this was different.

"Is everything alright?" He suddenly asked pulling her from her musing.

"yes fine..." She mumbled.

"You are sure?" He asked her a bit worried.

"Yeah... I am... Just tired..." she excused her behavior on, and then she felt it, making her let out a deep sigh. Peter had reached over the console and covering her hands. He didn't need to do more as she right away took it in one of hers giving it a light squeeze. They continued to hold hands for the rest of the ride though neither spoke anything else. Then they arrived and he parked the car she started to turn to him, only to see him opening his seat-belt and get out of the car.

She waited for him to walk over and open hers and accepted the hand he held out for her to help her.

She got out of the car and waited for him to close the door and turned to him.

"Thank you for tonight Peter..." She told him gently, considering if she should invite him up. She wouldn't mind that. Sex with Peter was always amazing, and she wouldn't mind it now after all their flirting and teasing earlier in the restaurant had turned her on.

"I'll walk you up. It is a date after all..." He smiled at her, a little unsure and she nodded, glad he had taken it out of her hands asking if he wanted to. He placed a hand on the small of her back guiding her as she leaned against his side a little more.

"I had fun tonight..." she admitted, while they rode the elevator.

"So did I... Thank you for having dinner with me..." He answered softly.

"You are welcome. I am glad we did it..." She smiled gently.

"Me too... you are okay with it even though we got caught by that reporter?" he asked her carefully.

"Yes... Yes I am Peter... I meant what I said in the restaurant, and I was the one to give her something after all." She told him calmly. The sound of the elevator indicating they had arrived on her floor. And they walked out and over to her door. She looked for her keys in her purse finally digging them up, and turned to him, hesitating again. She wanted to invite in back in, she needed him badly, that she suddenly knew. Their eyes locked and she saw her own emotions refluxed in his gaze.

"Goodnight Alicia." He whispered softly.

"Goodnight..." She whispered as she leaned in closer, while he started to lean down. Their lips finally meeting and that was all it took. His hands fasted around her pulling her tightly against him, while she wrapped her own arms around his neck kissing him back with everything in her. Their tongues met in a heated dance, and he pressed her against the door to her apartment. She moaned into the kiss, and raised one of her legs so she could wrap it around him. _God was they going to do it out here where anyone could catch them?_ The thought crossed her mind and was forgotten within seconds again. While she grounded herself against him needing more. However that seemed to clear his mind up because the next second he had pulled back from her, leaving them both panting for air.

"Let's go inside..." she whispered her breathing still labored. He looked at her in a weird way for a second, and she wasn't sure what he was thinking.

"I can't Alicia... If I go inside with you... this will once more only be about sex... and I can't do that, not this time. It wasn't what tonight was about, plus you have Owen in there..." He explained softly, and she suddenly felt sad. _Would he really leave now? He couldn't mean that, could he?_

"Peter..." She started to say but he cut her off by placing a finger on her lips.

"Please Alicia, don't beg me, I will give in and I can't do that tonight. Please..." He whispered gently begging her to understand. She didn't do anything for a couple of seconds but then she nodded.

"Will you call me then you get home?" She asked in a caring whisper.

"Yes... I will... I promise that. Do you think..." He broke of clearly nervous to continue what he was about to ask, but she already knew what was on his mind this time.

"Yes... I would like that... very much so actually. Maybe after the debate?" She offered, taking in how he started to smile, his eyes growing bright.

"After the debate... that is a date..." he confirmed smiling at her, and she nodded, returning his smile.

"Yes it is... but remember I am a good girl..." She told him teasingly suddenly it was too tempting. He rose an eyebrow at her, clearly not catching her joke.

"No sex until third date." She told him with a smile, making Peter's eyes grow large in confusion.

"What do you mean?" he asked her looking for an explanation.

"That you will have to take me to dinner a couple of more times before I offer to invite you in again." She said with a smile. He looked at her tenderly, placing his hand on her cheek stroking it gently.

"Will you say yes?" He whispered.

"You will have to ask to find out. Mr. Governor." She teased him, and he nodded, understanding what she was telling him.

"In that case... Good night Alicia..." He whispered before leaning in again giving her a brief tender and sweet kiss on the lips.

"Good night Peter..." She whispered as he pulled back. And moved away from her, starting to walk back to the elevator.

"Don't forget to call me then you get home. And I expect on in the morning as well." She told him, her eyes shining.

"Of course. Talk later..." he responded. She stayed where she was watching him get into the elevator, and gave him a soft wave goodbye as he went down. She turned around and opened her door walking inside.

"Did you have fun?" Owen asked as soon as she entered. She almost rolled her eyes. Okay it was probably good Peter hadn't joined her inside though the thought of the shocked look on Owen's face might have been worth it. Though she guessed she would see some shock tomorrow when he learned she had been on a date with Peter, and not out with friends from work.

"Yes, Owen I had fun." Was all she bothered with now. "I will head to bed..." She told him with a smile, leaving him on the couch and walking into her bedroom. As she undressed, she smiled.

She did have fun tonight. And she liked the thought of dating again. Of having Peter court her again. It made her feel warm all over. She checked her watch. She would just have time for a shower and getting ready for bed before he would call. The thought of him calling her made her feel the butterflies in her stomach once more. And she hurried to undress and shower, hoping the time would run fast. The warm water over her, she realized this was really her second chance with Peter, and she liked and wanted that more than ever. This, him and her, that was what she really wanted and had always wanted. Her attraction to Will would probably always be there, but with Peter she had a whole life, a future and a past and a family to fight for. And that was who she was, what made her happy. She knew they could start over, but she also knew she would need to tell him some things to make that possible, and he would probably need to do that as well. But if they got over that she knew they could make it. They could start over again, and their date tonight was the beginning.


	9. 422: The Bridge Over Troubled Water

_Okay so a post finale one-shot is needed. And this is mine. Don't read if you have not watched the finale. As it will have spoilers for that. _

* * *

**Post 4x22: The Bridge Over Troubled Water  
**

I saw the display lighten up again, yet another call, I didn't even have to check the name to know who it was. I once more rejected the call, like I had done with the ones before. Maybe I really should have gotten a new phone before going on this vacation. I mean it would probably have been the smartest choice. I looked away from the phone and out over the crystal blue sea once more. I was standing at the balcony of the room Peter had gotten us, a presidential suit. I had been shocked when he told me, very shocked actually, and I knew he had noticed, but I had brushed it off. It didn't matter, that it was the same type of room Will had gotten us once for our first time together, it just made it all so much more awkward.

I did want to do this, the remarriage, I really did. I loved Peter completely. But I felt bad, I had made him promise me to never cheat again before I said yes, and he wasn't the one that had screwed up - I was. I had spent the day after the election, and today, where we flew down here, rejecting calls from Will. I accepted those I got from Cary, where we discussed the new firm, and I had taken a couple from Diane, and one from Eli but that was it. I had yet to tell Peter I was actually leaving Lockhart and Gardner, and it was probably not the only thing I ought to tell him with the plans of our vow renewal. I really did need to tell him about how I had betrayed him not just once but twice by now. I knew it would hurt him and I feared how he would take it, if all plans of remarriage would be gone. He had always been jealous and I would basically tell him there was a reason to be, that I did harbor an attraction to Will. An attraction I hated, because I didn't want to cheat, I didn't want to hurt Peter. I really did love him, and wanted to be with him, to make this work. My phone lightened up once more, and a look at the display confirmed it was indeed Will, and in a sudden impulsive decision I picked it up and pressed ignore once more before on impulse throwing it with all I could to make sure it hit the ocean almost right under where I was standing. I knew it wasn't fair what I was doing, and I had pulled him back into this mess that was my life once more because of my sexual impulses. I knew he was calling now and ever since that fateful second kiss because of the talk he wanted. A talk I couldn't have. Because I feared what he would say, that he would tell me he loved me and he wanted it all, or some silly romantic nonsense, but the fact was that was not what I desired at least not with him. I was attracted to him, I desired him as a lover, but nothing more. I didn't want a life time with him, he wasn't the one that made me feel the happiest of all, truth be told I was rather a little scared I could feel this sexual compulsion to him while I loved and wanted a life with another man, a man I was with right now. I knew I should have talked with Will but I had no idea what to say, I was not allowed to tell him I was leaving Lockhart and Gardner yet, Cary had asked me to wait with that until I got back from here. I sighed and looked out over the sea, it was truly beautiful here. I knew he had wanted us to do this here because we had been to Hawaii for our honeymoon the first time around. It was another hotel back then and the feelings were different, and our history less complex less confusing, back then we had both been young and in love, yes I had been pregnant and we had moved the wedding up because of how I embarrassed I was over that, but we had never less still been young fools driven by love and dreams. It felt like a life time ago. Now we were here both having done so many things wrong, and betrayed each other and the vows we took many times over, because it wasn't just Peter that had broken them, in my own way so had I. Marriage was supposed to last through the good and bad times, and I hadn't honored that one the night he was re-elected the first time. I had needed it I had needed to do it, but I had still broken that vow of loving each other even when the storm set in. Now I had broken the vows again, actually I had done the same once 3 years before where I shared another kiss with Will in his office, I had still been with Peter back then too, and now two times yet again.

"So do you like the room?" Peter asked, coming up behind me and slipping his arms around my waist, and kissing my shoulder. I shuddered both due to the warmth and heat of his body and because of the memories of another man asking me the same, about two years ago. "Alicia are you alright?" I could hear the confusion in his voice, and in that moment I knew I had to tell him, no matter what; I needed to tell him. Why the room made me feel weird? Why I was distracted? What I had done that might make him change his mind on me? I needed to tell him it all. If I wanted this to work, our marriage to work I needed to start it in honesty, and I did want it to work. I sighed, this wouldn't be fun. I feared he wouldn't take this well at all.

"We need to talk..." I whispered and pulled away from him so I could turn around and look at him. I was met by his worried eyes. Eyes filled with confusion.

"About what? Alicia what is the matter?" I sighed again, considering if we should go outside to get some air while we had this talk, but it wouldn't look good for his image if we were caught by the press fighting. So it was better to stay in the room.

"Can we go inside and sit down... there is some things I need to tell you." I whispered softly, and saw him nod confused and worried. We walked back in and both took our seats at the love seat. I turned to face him and gulped. I wasn't completely sure where to start, where to jump in.

"I need to tell you some things before we do this. I want us to work Peter, and I don't want to begin again with lies and secrets already there. I need us to be honest with each other this time around. Not just with some things but with everything." He looked me in the eyes, and I saw a weird look forming in his graze.

"Will told you? Didn't he? Alicia I swear I didn't know about it before hand." He answered me, and suddenly I was the confused one, what was he talking about? What was it that Will should have told me? "What are you talking about Peter?" I asked confused.

"The election. I really didn't know it was our campaign that were committing fraud. I really didn't know until Will told me." Okay now I was the shocked and rather pissed one. Here I was ready to bear my heart and my own mistakes, and I learned he was corrupt again. "Peter... You... promised no more... Why? Were you really so scared you wouldn't win?" I pulled a little back on the couch and saw him flinch.

"Alicia please... hear me out..." He reached for my hand, and I pulled back, I didn't want his touch clouding my mind right now.

"I don't get it... You said you were done with all of that... and you did this... and you had us running around the whole night trying to make sure the other campaigns hadn't cheated. Oh that was the fraud, wasn't it?" I asked him in shock, while realizing what he had said, and what fraud it probably was. He nodded slowly, looking sad, I almost laughed at the irony we had argued they were clear and it was really fraud and he could have won without those votes easily. And it wouldn't have been fraud, but now it was. And more so, he had kept it from me and that was then I realized what he had said at first.

"Will knew? Peter how in the world... how did Will know?" I asked in shock. If Will really knew why hadn't Will told me.

"He found a video that proved that the stuffed ballot box came from us. He told me. Saying he wanted me to make the decision." He explained, and I was further confused.

"Why didn't he just bring it forward to the judge?" I asked half him and half myself.

"He said he wanted me to make the decision... but I didn't do it I told him to do what he wanted... I guess he didn't just do it automatically because of the interests of the client..." He sighed, and looked at me. "I know I should have told you... and not just because I was pressured to do so... But I swear Alicia I had nothing to do with the fraud I didn't ask for it. It happened as a part of the campaign office." He admitted and I nodded softly. He was right he should have told me far earlier. But he hadn't - not because of all the things that seemed as water under the bridge, but because of who he is, and the issues we have gone through, and yet right now his lie by omission seems small beside mine. And he hadn't committed the fraud himself. I nodded silently.

"Okay... you should have told me... but I get why you didn't... that you didn't want to tell me because it didn't really matter, and would just be an issue. I get it..."I sighed. Because I did get it probably far more than he knew. The thing that bugged me the most was I knew Will would feel betrayed by my choice of Peter and leaving with Cary, and right now he had something on Peter, something big.

"I... thank you Alicia... I know you have every right to be pissed I just..." He sighed. "I need to tell you something myself, that might make you far more angry than this can make me." I whisper softly, knowing it is needed to be said now.

"Alicia I won't get angry whatever it is..." He told me caringly, making me give a half smile, before taking a deep breath.

"I'm leaving Lockhart and Gardner, and I kissed Will, twice. One time some months back, and one time at election night. Almost Diane caught us on election night. The reason why I felt weird over the presidential suit, is because he took me to one two years ago, and I spent a night in it with him, that was then I started seeing him. Before that, not long after you came out of prison I kissed him, too... We didn't start anything until you and I had separated. And I ended it close to a year before we really started anything. But I still kissed him twice here lately, and I have been tempted by him all the time, and I don't want to go there, because I don't love him, I love you, but I am still temped and desire him, and it is driving me crazy, because I really don't want to go there, because it is you that I want. And still I have these feelings of attraction and lust for Will, and I can't seem to let it go, and I know it will hurt you so much, as I have been on the other side and I don't want that for anyone. And I really do love you." I admit it all, speaking rather fast needing to get it all out as fast as possible, I had lost my breath in the end and was panting trying to catch it again. I looked over at him nervously, and I saw a mix of emotions in his eyes. So many different ones I wasn't sure what to make of, and how this would all end. His eyes were filled with pain, hurt, anger, sadness, love, worry and confusion. I reached out this time, to touch him, my fingers brushing his arm made him flinch and pull away. I knew how he felt, I had felt like that too.

"Peter, please say something... anything... even if it is that you hate me..." I whispered, because it could very well be what he felt. I knew he loved me completely, and I in this moment also knew all the past didn't matter to me, the thought of him actually not wanting me was too scary, too painful. How had I gotten here? Him and Amber, him and Kalinda, him and whatever possible other woman there might have been in the past didn't matter, he had changed and I knew he hadn't been with anyone or wanted anyone since he got out of prison, he had changed and all he wanted was me. And I was the one who kept screwing up, who kept cheating on him in my own ways. I was the one who couldn't make up her mind and when I did I still couldn't keep to my plans of it. I was hurting Peter and he loved me so much, and I was hurting him because of my actions, I knew how he must be feeling right now. I had been in his place years ago, it might not be the same thing, he had slept with someone else, but I had basically just admitted to wanting to do just that and having kissed that person more than once while I was with Peter. He shook his head in disbelief.

"You kissed Will?" he whispered, and I nodded tears beaming in my eyes. How could I have hurt him like this?

"And you want to sleep with him?" He asked me, the pain in his voice broke my heart. I didn't know how I ended up there the next second, but I was once more reaching for his hands, enfolding them in my own, trying to look up into his eyes. Eyes which were filled with tears of his own. Oh god what a fool I was. I loved him I truly did, and yet here I was possibly destroying our happiness before it ever really started again.

I was breaking both of our hearts right now. I wished he would open his hands and take mine, hinting that he in some way was still accepting me, still caring for me, that he didn't hate me completely which was what I feared. However his hands didn't open, instead he pulled them out of mine, and stood up.

"Peter?" I whispered, scared for what he was about to do.

"I am sorry Alicia..." He whispered, and I could hear the tears in his voice. I sat as paralyzed as I watched him walk over to the door. No, this couldn't be true, he couldn't leave. I wanted to scream at him not to leave me, to let me have his anger, his pain - anything, as long as he didn't leave me. But no word left my dry lips, and I couldn't find my voice. It was gone. I saw him open the door and walk out of it. It was only the moment he closed it that the first of my tears fell, and it only took a minute before my tears were running freely. I got up from the couch and tears streaming down my cheeks and I moved through the rooms of the suit until I got to the bedroom. The rose petals spread over the bed made more tears well up into my eyes, he had really treated this as a second honeymoon and a second chance for us. And I had ruined it now. I didn't know if he would come back or if he would leave for the airport and the next I knew would be getting sent the divorce papers. I wished I had run after him, had begged him to stay. Instead I now lay down on the bed and cried into the pillows, where we were supposed to make love and have our second wedding night and I was now instead crying myself into sleep.

* * *

When I woke up the sun had set, and though it wasn't dark because of the lights on the island it was still darker. The bedroom was dark, and there were no sounds in it to be heard other than the sound of the ocean outside. I had the feeling that Peter hadn't returned and I felt worse than ever. He might really have left me here alone. I got up from the bed, though I felt drained and exhausted from crying and all that had passed. I walked over to the balcony in the bedroom, the wind that blew in from the ocean send chills through me, making me shiver. I almost laughed at the irony, a month ago I had shivers because of lust for Will, now that couldn't be further from my thoughts, and what was making me cold beside the wind were the fear that I had screwed up so badly that I had lost Peter forever. He was the love of my life, I knew that now, he was the one I could see myself with and always had seen myself with 30, 40 or 50 years from now. The one I wanted to spent the rest of my life with. I looked down on the beach just below me and there I saw a shadow of a human walking around. I don't know how I knew it but I just did it, and more so I knew it with my heart not with my eyes like the other night where I thought I was seeing Will, I knew it was Peter down there. I turned around, I had to get down there, to him, to try and make him listen and understand.

I hurried the best I could, out of the room and down there. As I arrived on the beach I couldn't see him, and for a few seconds I thought I had only made it up in my mind once more the sight of him, and that was then I saw his shadow further down the beach standing looking out on the ocean. I moved over there, as fast as I could. I had to get to him, had to make him see that he was the one I wanted the one I loved and desired. I couldn't lose him, just the thought felt like ripping my heart out, and it was far worse than the thought of letting Will go completely had ever felt. I reached him on the beach, and paused right behind him, suddenly not sure what to say to him.

"I love you." I whispered behind him, and I saw him stiffen, clearly surprised that I was here. "I love you, and you are not allowed to do this. Please Peter, I left the firm because I don't want to feel like that. Because I don't want to give in. Because I don't love him but you. It is you I want, it is you I want to see every morning and every night." I continued, and I saw him flinch again, and I reached out a hand so I could touch his arm. "Pleased look at me..." I whispered, and I could hear his sigh as he turned around to look at me. I could see he had cried too, he sighed and met my gaze, I could still read the pain in his eyes and hurt, but I could also read his love and desire for me. None of us spoke instead we both moved at the same moment, lips crashing together and hands clinging to each other, he pulled me closer and I pressed myself closer to him, as close as possible, my breasts being pressed tightly against his hard chest. I knew we would need to talk but right now no words could compare to this. How could I think Will was worth losing this for, that Will was better than this. Nothing could feel better than this. His warm tongue brushing and stroking against mine. I sucked on his, making him moan against me. It was like we were drinking each other up, trying to swallow the other up so we could become one. We broke the kiss, panting for air. I rested my head against his chest, breathing him in. He smelled so good, all masculine, strong and passionate, if you could even smell of that. "I love you." I whispered once more and felt him nod against me.

"I love you too... and I am sorry I left. I was just so confused and hurt." He admitted against me, and I nodded in understanding, and then pulled back and looked up at him.

"I do wanna renew our vows Peter, I really do. I didn't lie when I said yes. I want it." I told him softly, and saw him smile and he bowed down and kissed me again, this time sweetly and softly, his lips lingered on mine for a little, before he pulled back.

"I want to marry you again too." He told me as he pulled back resting his forehead against mine.

"We will have to work on our relationship every day. I know I hurt you tonight, and I know how you feel because I have felt it from you. And yet I am trying to trust you and really do trust you not to do it to me again, you are gonna have to trust me the same way, that I don't want to cheat and I won't do it because I love you, and you are the one I want in my life." I told him softly, bringing my hand up to rest on his cheek. He nodded.

"I know Alicia, and I will. I mean, I do trust you. I love you so much honey." He whispered, and I smiled and found his lips once more, sealing our lips together once again, no more words were needed to be spoken in this moment, for now this was enough. I don't remember much else from it, only that he managed to carry me all the way up to our room from the beach to finally make love to me spread out on the silky sheets still covered in rose petals.

* * *

The next night we renewed our vows as the sun set, we had settled on the same spot on the beach where I had found him the night before. I didn't hear much of what the officiate said, because all I was focused on was Peter. And the love beaming in his eyes. My soft cream colored dress was ruffled by the light breeze coming in from the ocean, as he promised me to love me forever, and to spend every moment with me making up for his past failures. And as I vowed to love him with every breath, smile and tear of my life I knew I couldn't be happier than in this moment with him. The dying sun in the background, coloring everything around us in a light pink color, a color of unconditional and romantic love and hope, and I couldn't think of anything more fitting in this moment. As Peter took my hand and to my greatest surprise took my rings off my fingers and slid another band on to it, a new one, before he placed the engagement ring he had given me two a half week earlier onto it again, while keeping my old wedding-ring.

"It is a new chance for us, I screwed up the first time and I won't do it this time, as I know what it feels to lose you. This ring I give to you with the promise of loving you every day, and spend forever making up for how I hurt you." He told me, and I felt a tear slip down my cheek, and saw the tears in his eyes as well. He pulled me close and sealed our lips in a kiss the second the officiate pronounced us husband and wife again, and I felt him lift me up and spin me around in happiness before he placed me back down again for another kiss, making me laugh. The night of Thanksgiving where we had first slept together in years, and my Mom had asked if I was happy, I hadn't been back then, but in this moment I could finally tell her and everyone else. I was the happiest I could ever be, and that I all owed to Peter. Because Peter was my joy, my love, my happiness, he was my life.


	10. 320 Kiss the Girl

_Okay __a __quick __oneshot __for __3.20...__ I wrote long ago Jodes beta'ed it for me. I had originally planned on making it longer, but for some reason it never felt right. _

_This __is __the __episode __tag __to __this __episode. __And __it __is __AU... __And __yes __the __title __says __a __lot...__;-)_

_Don't own the good wife. _

* * *

**3x20: Kiss the Girl**

Peter was not sure what came over him in that exact moment. He could not explain it afterward, not even to himself. But the way Alicia smiled at him, her eyes full of pride, comfort, adoration and care, this made him loose the balance on the fine line he had been walking on for months. As he kept trying not to overstep any boundaries of hers.

His arm was already wrapped around her, so it was not that difficult to lean in and close the gap between them. And he did just that. Pressing his lips to hers in a gentle kiss. It was quick and light. He knew somewhere in the back of his mind that he could not risk something longer. Both because of the reaction she might have but also because of where they were standing.

The press was already going crazy because she was there with him, _smiling_. The moment he kissed her, he heard them explode, but at the same time every sound of the outside world seemed to disappear. He was left somewhere between heaven and hell alone with her. _Alicia_, those lips were still the sweetest and softest he had ever tasted. That was something he did managed to catch even in the few seconds the kiss lasted. As he pulled back, he saw the stunned look on her face. Her eyes were suddenly a mix of confusion, helplessness, anger, worry and love. Yes, he had read a hint of love in them. No matter how much he honestly wanted it. Love was something Peter had doubted he would ever see reflected in her mossy green orbs in relation to himself once again. But it seemed that his kiss had caught her so off ground that she let herself slip up. Her carefully positioned mask had fallen. It was merely a few seconds, just like the kiss itself, but Peter had caught a glimpse behind it. Then her face was covered by her perfect mask once more. He could not even read the other emotions on it any longer. She just turned back to the press and smiled perfectly once again.

* * *

Alicia could not believe it. One moment Peter was standing there with her, smiling, and the next thing she knew, he had kissed her. It was not long, or bad. It was gentle, (hesitant, tender even).

Alicia suddenly felt very conflicted. Never in her wildest imagination had she expected that from Peter. She was completely paralyzed from the moment he started leaning toward her. In truth, she did have time to turn away. She could have offered him her cheek or stopped him completely, but she didn't. She was not completely sure why but in some small way she welcomed his kiss.

The last couple of weeks had been confusing in relation to her past, Peter, the children etc. Maybe that was the reason she allowed him to kiss her just this once... to see how it felt once more. To see if kissing him still made her feel anything at all. And it did. A wave of mixed emotions crashed over her in that moment following the intimate act, and she knew that Peter had seen them all. Before she was able to compose herself again, he had read them in her eyes.

The press was going crazy. They had gotten what they wanted. It was obvious that she supported Peter's decision to run again. His kiss, and her lack of a negative response to it, had made sure of that.

Alicia could feel Peter's thumb stroking her arm softly. She knew he was trying to ease the awkwardness of the moment. It did help a little, but she was not sure it was enough. After all, what had given him the right to kiss her like that?

She was uncertain what, if anything, the kiss meant for the two of them as a couple. That made her more than a little angry. Just when she was beginning to feel some stability and comfort in the new way they had found to relate to each other, he managed to resurrect the uncertainty once more. She was no longer sure where they stood or where they were headed in relation to each other. Nevertheless, she smiled for the press. She would give them the image they wanted of the perfect couple once more. And the kiss? Maybe she could let that slip too, after all she had accepted it. Though if she was going to help him with his campaign she would need to set some ground rules for them and him. And that would include no kissing.

She almost unconsciously licked her lips, finding that she could still taste a hint of him however brief their contact had been he had left a memory of himself on her lips. One she liked a lot more than she remembered. So maybe kissing should just be off the ground for the time being, however scary that thought was.

She hadn't thought she would ever get back together with him, and she still wasn't sure on that one but for some reason it didn't seem as impossible as yesterday. After all she could have sworn that she would never again be standing with him on a stage again either, unless it was to announce their divorce. And yet here she was. Once more the power couple of Chicago, the picture perfect couple, they once were, was what they were showing others today. She knew though that she would need to spent a lot of time the upcoming months figuring out what she wanted and didn't want. They had been separated close to year, so they could easily divorce. But for some reason the thought didn't seem as appealing to her as a year ago. Her and Kalinda had started to mend fences a little, and so had she and Peter. Maybe there were hope on both fronts, with her friend and with Peter. And if there was? She knew that would be worth a second chance.

She almost wanted to laugh, but she couldn't because of the press, instead she looked over at Peter again, giving him a beaming smile. She could read in his eyes he was confused over how she seemed to keep changing what was on her mind, and her reaction.

It was understandable after all he couldn't know what his kiss had started of thoughts running through her head. He couldn't know that she was now considering second chances and fear of being hurt yet again, over a long time coming divorce. She guessed they would have to talk later to figuring out what it all meant.

But for now she just smiled, it was after all what she was here for, _smiling_. And her smiles were no longer half forced or just there because they needed to be, they were there because this was what she felt like, _smiling. _


End file.
